Masking the Pain

Hey Eternity! Happy review day!
Wow!!! this poem is truly beautiful. I feel bad saying that given the sad topic, yet the way you worded it is unfathomably amazing. I think you did a very good job with the grammar end of the poem. I do believe that you could use more advanced vocabulary however. I'm not saying that the vocabulary was poor. But with this type of topic and writing style I think a few larger words would have improved the overall poem.

This writing does a great job of expressing deep pain, and I really enjoyed reading it, despite the fact that it was sad.
Great job and keep up the awesome work!

Hey there, xxFleetingEternity!
I'm Euph, and in the spirit of Review Day, I am here to review your poem!
Let me start off by saying that I love the flow to this poem.
My only suggestion for you is that you might want to include more colorful vocabulary to lure your readers in further. This will allow us to get a better visual, though you did quite a good job doing so here.
A small critique I must make is that in the last line of the first stanza, you might want to write in order to complete the thought at hand.
“Hiding the pain,
With a mask.
Trying to be something
When you're really nothing.
Fighting hard against darkness,
Searching* for the light that doesn't exist.”

 
My favorite part of this poem is in the second stanza where you say “Desperate to hold on to the rope,
Called sanity.”
My only edit to that line would be to get rid of the comma after rope.

Overall, I really like your poem and would love to read more of your work!
I hope that this review could help you in some way.
If you ever need me, feel free to drop by either on my wall or inbox me something, and I’d be glad to help you out with anything, or simply just to talk about the revisions I have made.

I loved the lines "Fighting hard against darkness/ For the light the doesn't exist" and "Desperately to hold on to the rope/ Called sanity". I thought it really emphasized your mesage to isolate you final line. Overall this poem is very beautiful and very honest. I loved it.

I Will Write A Response: here it is...

There is another world called darkness
Existing there, a land called emptiness,
There is nothing, no one but fog
At first in your eyes it was just a clog

As time past by you will learn
That from the dark you can burn
A light from your own misery
A guide to the right path

No there is no escaping
From the dark that you are seeing
But the dark can create it's own light
Which will be your armor to fight.


OH NO,,I CANT BELIEVE IT!! I CAN STILL WRITE GOTHIC LIT LIKE 1-2-3~ WELL..ITS MY MAIN GENRE..LOL..<3