Alone?

Hi there, wonderingkate! I'm Conrad, and I'll be your reviewer for today.

So, I like the way in which you try to condense this poem into a small piece. You could have gone on and on about this subject, as others have before, but instead you chose to keep it short and concise. I applaud that.

However, I think that you do need to think of ways to say the things in this poem that reflect you a bit better. Try to think of a time or two when you were lonely. Then, describe those times in the poem. That helps give it a bit more personal touch. When you do that, the poem feels a bit more complete.

So, a good start, but you've still got some work to do on it. Send me a PM if you have any questions or comments.

Good job, and good luck!

-Conrad Rice

I totally agree with Silented on this one. Your idea is solid, but you aren't showing us anything new. You aren't sharing any emotion with the reader. And that is what makes reader want to read poetry, it connects them emotionally with someone else. Make us feel the loneliness of always being alone, and perhaps as Ed said, the loneliness of being in a room full of people. Make us feel the desire to be loved, to be important to someone else. Your poem is well-structured and has a good theme, but you don't bring anything new to the table. Add emotion and you will achieve this.

its small... so I won't have much to say...
a bit of questions and a bit of answering, no where do you "own" a piece of this poem Kate. I see your message, your ideas but not your emotion...
but other than me wanting more to be written(which is sort of unnecessary) its good haha.

and I disagree I send much of my time alone... and I think its just fine that I like to be alone...
Remember just because other people are around, it doesn't mean you'll be loved...
keep writing.

I really like this poem. It's very realatable and the way you organized it, so that the begining makes a statement that the ending explains is really nice.

I don't know what else to tell you. I like it .