Her time of the month

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Hmm...well right off that bat, this is not quite what I was expecting judging by the title but it was honestly the best kind of surprise to find out what it ended up being, and well...this is just an awesomely sweet little story here and I loved it.

Anyway let's get right to it,

There she goes again. Mumbling, grumbling and howling in pain. It saddens me to see her like this, so I take care of her. I make my way up the stairs with a tray of soup, heading towards her room. Everyone hates to be around her during her time of the month, but she's my girlfriend, I love to take care of her.

Pushing open the door, I see her laying on the bed, curled up in pain. Fur covers her entire body, her once well-manicured nails are now long black claws extending out of boney paws, and her perfectly pink lips I kiss so sweetly, are now a long, drawn-out muzzle, pulled back in a hidious snarl.

Yup. It's not my fault that every once a month my girlfriend turns into a werewolf. It just happened, we don't know why. She sat with her head on my lap as I fed her soup and rubbed her belly, her tail thumping in delight. She never felt pretty during this time, so I always liked to be there for her. I knew that in a few days, her symptoms would subside and she'd be back to normal, but every month we couldn't avoid it.

Normally she would lash out and growl at you if you got too close, but if you took the time to understand her, she was like a tame, little puppy.

I love her, always, even during her time of the month.

I knew that's what you were talking about. What a great boyfriend.

first i was like i know whats gonna happen next.
then i was like wait what?. because i was making the face i make when im attempting a math test and my answer isn't one of the options. anyway i think it was good. you have a knack for writing! so dont stop!
very few things can make me laugh and you are a part of the short list of people who can so congratulations!

WOW...This story just totally took a different route than I thought it was going. Even so, I really liked how you transitioned this story from an average PMS experience into something even more. If there's a part two or something I would really like to see it PLEASE PLEASE write another one. Cause this is pure awesomeness. Nothing to critique you about this was just great. So funny by the way it really made me feel stupid.

Please write more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I found this pretty funny actually. At first I was thinking, "Oh, God." because of the "Her time of the month", but then I started to read it. I like how you incorporated werewolves the same way as.. well, you know.
Loved it.

Hahahahahaha.

Hey! I'm really surprised you're still in the Green Room, with how many comments you have! I'm sure at least three of them are long enough to be a review. Oh, by the way, I absolutely LOVE your avatar!! Wicked is like my favorite all time Broadway show! (Even though I've unfortunately never seen it, I've watched like all the songs and can't wait to go to it!) Anyway, now I'm off topic. So, while I haven't every really been interested in werewolves, this is a cute story. It's well written, and I didn't notice any typos or grammatical errors. I really have no complaints. It's a super cute idea, and the title is cool! Sorry this is such a short review:/ Anyway, good job!

Firstly, I love werewolves! Second this was very clever in the way that you crafted this story, I was not expecting the werewolf part as I was merely expecting to read an account of a well known female "aliment". The humor that you put into the story is gold and I love how you have tamed her and love her no matter how "beastly" she gets. Even with the overlay of humor the love can still be felt and seen. Great job!

Ha ha ha. Funny how you put the whole thing in the perfect rhymes. Why i feel you did good? I can relate to this! the subtle humour was real clever.

I wish the female-bodied turned into werewolves every month instead of bleeding for five days and still living! That would be awesome and I would never want to give it up!
I don't really think this story belongs under humor, story-wise and word-wise, but the actual subject and premise makes it fit more than the story itself does. What I really like about it (other than the werewolf thing) is that the characters are a generic boyfriend and girlfriend; they could be anyone! Personally, even though I have a boyfriend, I imagined him and me as the two main characters; either of us would be there for each other like that, without a second thought. This was a very cute story, a unique idea, and it put a huge smile on my face.

Funny with a touch of sweet. Love!

Oh my gosh, that was adorable. I literally just sat here, smiled and laughed out loud. Kudos to this genuine, original short!

oh my god i thought

I love how this could easily be a metaphor for the girlfriend being on her period

Just thought I'd share that this was a fun, cute piece to read. At first I thought you were using figurative language, but then I realized it was meant to be literal. xD

But anyways, it was a nice read, and it was really sweet.

This was so cute! I originally thought it'd be a bit...weird, but after reading the description I decided it was worth a shot, and I'm so glad I gave it a chance!

Hi, wickedlygoodwriter. This is pinkie for special review. Well, this is not really speical because people does this all the time in this site. Well, let's get started. *puts on funny glasses*

I agreed with everyone who reviewed your story. This is the funniest story that I ever read. I can't stop laughing. Also, the story is very creative. You gave a great image in my head as I read it. Like the beginning of the story here:

"There she goes again. Mumbling, grumbling and howling in pain. It saddens me to see her like this, so I take care of her. I make my way up the stairs with a tray of soup, heading towards her room. Everyone hates to be around her during her time of the month, but she's my girlfriend, I love to take care of her."

You showed me of the Narrator's girlfriend sick and him caring for her without telling it. I like it. I like it a lot! You are a excellent writer for this. Also, I disagreed with CarbRundum. I don't think you need a dialogue. I like it as it is. However, you have some errors on here. You switched the tenses like I did. But you did better than mines. You are very talented writer! I love this story. I love to read more from you. I hope you write more.

Awesome Job!

Cheers

Your reviewer, Pinkiegirl13

DUDE DAT METAPHOR. I don't think I need to explain that last sentence. This story was so *sniff* touching. The imagery was really good, and the descriptions were detailed. The plot twist was also very great. I do not imagine that I need to elaborate on which ''plot twist'' I'm referring to.

Here are some good points:

-It's a very interesting idea

-it's well written

-It's humorous

-It's length is perfect for its subject matter

-It reaches the feels at the end

-It doesn't take a long time to elaborate on the cause of this werewolf-ness

Some Criticisms:

-There's no dialogue

-You say "It just happened", but it seems like something that's currently happening.

-You have some tense problems. For example, in the first paragraph, it's present tense, but in the third, it's past tense, even during the none-flashback parts.

I thought that this was about girls on their red time of the month, I loved that the title tricked me.
It is definitely funny and the length emphasises this. Plus the matter-of-fact tone.
I love how the roles have been reserved, usually its the male who is the werewolf. Also from the perspective of someone who is not the werewolf. And how basic the origin story is, just like a shrug of the shoulders. Excellent!

Hey wickedlygoodwriter! Strange here and I have a review for you!
I found this quite hilarious.
This somewhat saddens me that this is so short. But, it feels like it needed to. There isn't that much range you can cover with a topic like this. Come on, it's about having a werewolf for a girlfriend for Christ sakes!
The humor in this work really packs a punch. I honestly clicked on this story expecting something about a period, because it's always fun making fun of what girls have every month. You start it off talking about what seems similar to a period. I was honestly shaking my head at that. But, originality is what counts. Plot twists are original, especially when the plot twist is that she's a freaking werewolf! That made me chuckle quite a bit. This type of story is often overlooked for generic humor ideas, but this was quite hilarious. I hope many read this.
You know how to write a funny story, and I was glad to review this.
Overall, really good job.
Strange gives you...
8.9/10
Really good job, again,
Keep writing,
Stay groovy, my friend.

Hello.
Ok well, it definitely wasn't what I thought given the title. (Good job you explained that.)
'There she goes again. Mumbling, grumbling and howling in pain' Although the opening line would suggest otherwise. XD But I think that's what makes this work rather clever. SO..

Good Points

1. Humour
2. Length, I axctually like that this work is short, because you are making a neat point.
3. Good tone, in your writing. (A part of characterisation that you really seem to have mastered here. Well done.)


Improvement Points

1. Sort out the formatting a little bit, you've got big paragraphs and then short sentences at the end.
2. Perhaps consider introducing dialogue? Just to make it a bit more humorous.
3. Vary the length of your sentences more, because the ones there at the moment are a bit long.

I liked this work - I don't know what inspired it, but it all feels kind of personal. So that's always good - relatability factor an all that.
Well done - keep writing!

Yours in ink
~BSF

Hey there, wickedlygoodwriter! GreenLight24 here with a review for you on this magnificent Monday night that will be a terrific Tuesday morning in T minus seven minutes. (Yes I waited for the minute to change so that it would be exact.) Now that this minor detail is taken care of, here's the review!

First off, I like that you kept this very short. I feel like you had a very definite idea of what you wanted to portray and how you wanted to portray that. In other words, you had a plan, and you executed it effectively and efficiently without drawing things out too much. Sometime simplicity is the best option, and for what you were describing here, I think that it worked very decently.

Next, I liked the way this was narrated. Tbh, I just found this whole thing to be super, super cute. If I had a girlfriend, I would certainly make it a point to be as great as this dude is to his. From reading this I can tell that you've probably had experience with this, which makes it all the more interesting. A fantastic English teacher of mine once said that all great writing, no matter the subject matter or the time period, has had some hint of authenticity or the author's personal experience interwoven into it. That is undeniably true and I feel like this piece is consistent with that idea.

As far as constructive criticisms go, I just don't have that many to offer you. The only thing I would normally suggest would be that you expand on this a little bit, but like I said, simplicity is often the best option and is very effective here.

I hope you find this review helpful and if not, I hope you found it encouraging and nice to read. I loved this piece and thought it was very cool that you dispelled the notion that a story has to be really long and drawn-out to be effective. There's a reason it's called a SHORT story lol. Great job, buddy and remember, never stop writing!