I never ran so fast in my life before. It feels like my heart is about to rip out of my chest. But I have to run. Everyone else is way ahead of me running as fast as their feet can take them. I was the last one. You can feel the ground shaking and rumbling as the stone gate was closing. Once the gate is all the way down, it can never be opened again. The shouts and yells of the people slowly died down as they passed through the gate. But I was still running. The heavy dust has filled the air that has been kicked up by the people. So much that it was hard to see and hard to breathe. The sun was burning my skin and the heat was intense. Sweat covered my entire body. The gate was almost all the way down as I got near. I jumped and slid across the dry rocks that ripped through my raggy pants and cut up my legs. Will I make it? I closed my eyes hoping I will end up on the other side. I then felt my feet hit something hard and pain shot up my legs as I let out a loud yell! I opened my eyes...I didn't make it.
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It was quite a simple story, and i liked it. It sure is mysterious and brings out questions like AEChronicle said-why is he running? But i think you could have written more and answered these questions. Its quite short and i had like to read more.
'You' in the line- 'You can feel the ground shaking and rumbling as the stone gate was closing' seems inappropriate. I think you could have replaced it with an 'I'. But its just my opinion. And i do agree with Fictional about your tense. But overall i think it was a good piece, but could have been more descriptive. Hope to read more of your works.
Thank you
This piece would defiantly be very interesting to see in a novel. It is very nerve wracking and tense and possesses power, rich, visual imagery. I think that you should describe your surroundings more though.What does the City of Stone look like?. I think it would really bring your story to life if you go into more detail. It's defiantly a piece with a lot of potential. I can tell that you have a very vivid imagination and I look forward to reading more of your pieces
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Wow thank you
First of all, I agree with the previous reviewer on pretty much everything.
This is good for a first post on this website - the idea is to improve, after all!
I'd like to point something out: I was rather confused by the random shifts in tense throughout. E.g.
"I never ran so fast in my life before. It feels like my heart is about to rip out of my chest."
should be
"I never ran so fast in my life before. It felt like my heart was about to rip out of my chest."
I also think it would be far more intriguing if as well as describing what's happening, you added snippets of dialogue, even monologue. Like the thoughts that are running through your head:
"I never ran so fast in my life before. My heart is about to rip out of my chest, I thought to myself."
I know you did this in a place or two, but mostly just describing everything does not do very well in the genre of action and suspense.
Definitely consider splitting this up - the paragraph takes away from the element of suspense. A jagged, flowing series of sentences, as previous reviewer said, would be better.
Keep writing!
yea about that first or second sentence, I actually noticed after I posted it haha. But thank you
I do have a question though. Where can I learn about breaking up into paragraphs. I just don't know where and how. I want to be able to do it right.
I had trouble with this when I started on here, too! It's quite simple: at the end of a paragraph, type <*br*> (remove the stars). For a double space, do it twice. I hope that makes sense
oh ok thanks. But I meant I don't know when its appropriate to divide it up.
Well, try reading your story out loud to yourself: whenever it sounds like there's some sort of pause, shift in idea, etc. just put a division there. I'm sorry if that doesn't sound too logical. Here's an example, for the beginning:
"I never ran so fast in my life before. It feels like my heart is about to rip out of my chest. But I have to run. Everyone else is way ahead of me running as fast as their feet can take them.
I was the last one. You can feel the ground shaking and rumbling as the stone gate was closing. Once the gate is all the way down, it can never be opened again. The shouts and yells of the people slowly died down as they passed through the gate.
But I was still running."
Don't forget to keep the tenses constant throughout the whole story - it'll make it easier to write and to read.
ok thank you very much
ill try my best 
I'm sure you will
Well, there's not much here to understand, so it's difficult to like it. It's not bad, but the writing isn't very descriptive or thought provoking, so, coupled with the shortness of it and the lack of interesting matter, it's hard to be intrigued and want to keep reading.
In a good note, it does bring up a lot of questions like, why are you running? And what are you running from? Questions that would be answered later on. It would be good if you wrote some more.
And one other thing, it's all just one paragraph. It would be good if you broke it up. Something like this;
"I never ran so fast in my life before.
"It feels like my heart is about to rip out of my chest.
"But I have to run.
"Everyone else is way ahead of me running as fast as their feet can take them. I was the last one. You can feel the ground shaking and rumbling as the stone gate was closing. Once the gate is all the way down, it can never be opened again. The shouts and yells of the people slowly died down as they passed through the gate.
"But I was still running."
This would showcase some of the more important parts that aren't just basic explanations. It also breaks up the paragraph, makes it easier to read, and lends a free flowing feel to the whole thing.
Hoped this helped.
Thank you vetas!
Thank You very much
I never really wrote before and that's why I am here to learn. Thank you, ill try to improve 
We all have to start somewhere. I'm happy and willing to help, so if you ever need anything, reviews or advice, just message me.
ok thank you