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12+ Violence Mature Content

In these woods, we hide

by vampricone6783


*This is a short story with two characters from my “Celina and Alejandro” stories. This story is underneath my folder titled “The cake curse”. I’m going to make another big story with them soon, but for now, have this more wholesome one. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*



In the darkness of the forest, Celina and Alejandro riseded. Cursed by a cake slice that made them monsters one Halloween night, Alejandro was turned into a vampire, and Celina was turned into a clown.

“Sometimes, I wish that I could go back home, and see my family again.” Alejandro said.

Celina turned to look at him, curiosity in her purple eyes. She was more attune to the monster life than him, but sometimes, he saw a flicker of sadness in her eyes.

“But then I look at you, and suddenly, being a monster isn’t so bad. I like you, Celina. More than a friend would. Do you like me?” Alejandro asked.

Celina grinned, and then, she cackled, her voice ringing throughout the forest, pitched with insanity and joy.

“Why, I love you too!” She declared.

And then, she planted a kiss on his pale cheek.


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Points: 46
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Mon Apr 15, 2024 3:19 am
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wizartjay says...



I think that was a cute little peek into the lives of Celina and Alejandro, I would like to read more of them. Your writing is to the point and very concentrated, I like that, no time wasted in describing their appearance as it is not needed for this story. Absolutely crisp, I love it.




vampricone6783 says...


You can read more about them under my folder titled %u201CThe Cake Curse%u201D. :>



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Sun Apr 14, 2024 6:39 pm
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Moonlily wrote a review...



Hello Hello I hope you dont mind me coming in with a review. This Is an older piece but I figured I would give it a try. Overall it is a very cute if short moment and I won't be able to go as in-depth as I normally do. I only have to things I would bring up to consider.

Firstly in the first line, I think there's a typo. "In the darkness of the forest, Celina and Alejandro riseded." I would change that to " In the darkness of the forest, Celina and Alejandro rose. " ( I am not a grammar pro raised just doesn't seem to sound right to me )

Lastly, since this piece is so short I feel describing the forest with smell and other senses might give the reader a better chance at immersion. Maybe having the characters move or go through their daily life could also add further depth to it. ( Not to be rude it's just hard to when it is short like this to make it feel vivd is all )

Sorry if I came off harsh keeping writing and drink water!




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Sat Mar 30, 2024 4:49 pm
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ThekingsAdvisor wrote a review...



Wow, what a cool little story! I love how it dives straight into the action with Celina and Alejandro in the spooky forest. The idea of them being cursed into a vampire and a clown is so unique and fun—it really grabs your attention right from the start!

The dialogue between Celina and Alejandro feels so genuine, And that twist at the end with Celina declaring her love? pretty unexpected and totally awesome! It adds this whole new layer of excitement to the story.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this. It's short and sweet but packs a punch with its creativity and imagination. Can't wait to read more from you! Keep up the awesome work!




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Sat Mar 30, 2024 4:48 pm
ThekingsAdvisor says...






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Fri Mar 29, 2024 1:07 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression:This is a lovely little piece here. It seems I've somehow run into a second more wholesome story here which is quite rare in such a short time period and I am delighted. This one is an especially powerful here with some very interesting background emotions here.

Anyway let's get right to it,

In the darkness of the forest, Celina and Alejandro riseded. Cursed by a cake slice that made them monsters one Halloween night, Alejandro was turned into a vampire, and Celina was turned into a clown.

“Sometimes, I wish that I could go back home, and see my family again.” Alejandro said.

Celina turned to look at him, curiosity in her purple eyes. She was more attune to the monster life than him, but sometimes, he saw a flicker of sadness in her eyes.


Well this is quite a nice little start here. Its a little hard to glean exactly what circumstances have led here but I really love the way you start things just immediately establishing a lot of important emotional notes for the situation and giving us a very good snapshot of exactly what their current mindset happens to be. ITs an interesting level of detail I think that really lets us get a good look at what exactly our characters are feeling in this moment and also established an interesting bit of tension into the whole thing. Its a very powerful start in that regard.

“But then I look at you, and suddenly, being a monster isn’t so bad. I like you, Celina. More than a friend would. Do you like me?” Alejandro asked.

Celina grinned, and then, she cackled, her voice ringing throughout the forest, pitched with insanity and joy.

“Why, I love you too!” She declared.

And then, she planted a kiss on his pale cheek.


Oooh well this is quite the ending here. I was genuinely not expecting this to end up going towards the more wholesome conclusion here but it seems we've managed to circle around to just a small bit of a happier ending. Not entirely knowing the full background here I'm sure there's more to this than meets the eye but its a beautiful isolated moment, and I think it adds an extra dimension to these characters beyond them just being random monsters in the woods.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall I think a surprisingly powerful scene for how simply it presents itself at first. I think you've done a great job capturing quite a few strong emotions here.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate





Even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes.
— Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief