Hello Everyone!
I wrote this song in two hours, so be nice on the critque. I hope you enjoy it 
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Just a Memory
Three years have come and gone
Yet the pain remains so strong
Why did you have to go so young?
The water wasn’t that deep
But still, you began to sink
I couldn’t grasp you, I couldn’t revive you
Why didn’t I realize the words that couldn’t be sung?
For now, the pain has only begun
At last, I tried to say I was “sorry”
But the words can’t escape my tongue
You’re just a memory
Gone so young
Some don’t understand
But you’re still clear
Always in my heart
I just want you here
Don’t you see?
You’re still a part of me
Are you in heaven? It’s been too long
Seven years have come and gone
Yet the pain remains so strong
Why did you have to go so young?
All I want is just one more night
I promise you, I will hold you tight
No more pain to pull you away
Why does it have to happen this way?
No one will ever take your place
I close my eyes and all I see…
Goodbye my little honey bee
You were there; your face so dear
No chance to say goodbye
It was your turn to fly
You’re just a memory
Gone so young
Some don’t understand
But you’re still clear
Always in my heart
I just want you here
Don’t you see?
You’re still a part of me
Tonight I’ll sit, tonight I’ll wait
Here I am; I promise I won’t be late
Sixty years have come and gone
Yet the pain remains so strong
Why did you have to go so young?
Our journey had just begun
Just a few more days…
A couple more months…
One more year…
That’s all it takes
I can’t wait to see you my dear
You’d be so proud…
Your grandson just turned eight
So strong, so true to his faith
Four more years and she’ll graduate
Your granddaughter,
She went on her first date
Me? I’m doing alright
Another wrinkle won’t bother me
You’re just a memory
Gone so young
Some don’t understand
But you’re still clear
Always in my heart
I just want you here
Don’t you see?
You’re still a part of me
My years have come and gone
Yet the pain remains so strong
Why did you have to go so young?
But I’m ready now, my little honey bee
Together forever…
Just you and me
We’re just a memory
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Cheers!!
-thevoiceinside
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139,524 Literary Works • 672,598 Reviews
Very good job! Nice words, very well described feelings. Are you a musician too cause that would be awesome if you could sing that song also. One of the best lyrics on the site!!! Nice one!
Keep writing!
i only have one question
who died? PM me please and answer my question
i loved it though
I like the emotion coming from this. I would like to know who this is about, obviously comeone close. A granparent? There also seems to be a story behind this loss. I like the way you use your personal feelings in the stuff you write. Great Job!
wow, at first it was me just singing a song then as i got deeeper into the sung i understood the meaning and it made me want to cry it is really an amazing song seems like a country song to me but i thought it was totally awesome and i couldn't write a song like that because um...im not that deep with writing sad songs like i can't write a sad song because i would cry to much but when i understood the true meaning of that song i just stopped singing it because i couldn't take anymore but....keep doing what you do okay
best of luck
wow, that was really nice
i wrote a song similar to that, but it was about my friend getting a concussion instead of drowning
good work!
It's so sad but I really love it, it's beautiful and it really paints a picture in my head of the person who is narrating the song. I get the message, that when some one is gone, you'll always miss them, but life goes on and that gives you encouragement to keep living. I'm sorry for whatever sad event caused you to write this, but in your case, sad times give the greatest inspiration.
*blinks hard, re reading it not believeing she wrote it*
Wowserz
I'll be honest about my critique.., by far you have to be best writer in lyrics I've seen on this site, do work (: I believe your song captures the emotion you try to project towards an audience, and really has a nice flow to it.
"The water wasn’t that deep
But still, you began to sink" - like this line
On things you could do better, words choices every here and there.. but really it's flawless and I hope you continue to write, and aim towards always out doing yourself.
Good Job (:
This is very pretty.
It's really well done. =)
I LOVE IT im not into the whole dramatic lyrics thing because i like rock and metal (go SlipKnot) but overall i liked it. =D
I like how you where able to like 'feel' it i would totally love to use this song if i had a band it would be TOTALLY AWESOME
My advice is keep on writing and if you get lucky maybe one day you can get some1 to take some of those lyrics and use them (with your permission of course) =D
this is really touching and emotional
I like it
well done
=)
Sarah
xxxx
Wow.
Just...wow.
You did an amazing job on this! And in only two hours. Dang! You really do hit the nail on the head on how it feels to lose a loved one. I just lost my grandpa a year and a half ago and this reminds me so much of how I felt. As I said, amazing job. Keep on writing!
10/10
Ow my Lord.
THAT WAS AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!
I dont know how to correct you. Your song just hit the spot. I could even sing this out loud if I wanted to. This is the best lyrics I have read on this website yet.
But why death of a little girl
well if you have an answer PM me
*sniff*
...
WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Gasp*
Nice work *sniff*.
This is a great song. You really hit the nail on the head in terms of how much pain is felt when a loved one, especially a spouse, dies. The pain does last for a very long time.
I can't shake the feeling that you recieved some sort of inspiration from a friend or family member, because you captured the emotions so well.
One last praise: the end of the song.
As I read through this, it was a good song. It reminded me of Just a Dream, by Carrie Underwood.
Then I reached the end.
One thing I always stress is that the end has to have some sort of resolution. And this:
Counts as a resolution, because she can pass on and join her husband in heaven.
Nice job.
...
Ooh! Almost forgot!
*Stars*
t is good but why is it about someone drowning? Why is it about death? That is my only question! you can pm me the answer because that isn't really a problem it is justa question! The words fit well together and i like it! Good job!