Young Writers Society

Hey, as far as criticisms go I couldn't really find anything that haven't already been mentioned and fixed so just wanted to add my support for this great song. It's nice to finally see a positive, fun song on here since so many people seem to use lyrics just to outpour negative emotions (no offence meant to them, i do it too) and I especially thought the stage directions - like "(tricked out beat takes off)" - added a nice touch =D

Hey, thevoiceinside!

I love what you've done to it! I think it flows better and sounds more professional now. Sorry I couldn't get here before you gave it to Kelsie, but I'm sure glad you did! Well done!

--Anna

aaaaw that is sooooo cute!! i have a friend like that too and shes like your friend Kelsie. the ending part where you were like kelsie i love you or something like that was soo awesome!!.well im very very happy she helped you with yr "problems" or what ever you want to call it.

My favorite part is

When you said
Everything will be alright
Cause' you're never alone,
I didn't cry that night

That would sound really cool in a song. My only thing is the "I love you" at the end. It's a little cheesy to be made into a real song, but it's fine anyway. I would have written "here's to you" or something.
Songs don't need to have a lot of rhyming. It's great.

I just want to say first of all....Thank you!! to all of you
I really appreciate it!

I'm considering all of your suggestions and I'm so grateful to you guys because you're helping me a lot with this. I hope many more people will give their opinions too. I'm opening to a lot of suggestions.

To answer your question Carly, I would love to record me singing it......but I can't sing, I swear a cow dies in some far off land every time I attempt the whole singing thing haha so I'm just going to give her the lyrics the next time we hang out.

I'm going to edit this and then change it on here so please be on the look out for it and tell me what you think of it before I print out the final one to give to her. I would REALLY appreciate that!

I love you all! thank you
-thevoiceinside

First of all...I just wanted to say I think it's really sweet that you're writing a song for your friend about how much she means to you

thevoiceinside wrote:Never had a friend like you
One that is always there
For when I’m feeling blue

thevoiceinside wrote:You’ve been there
Through it all
It’s because of you,
I don’t feel so small

thevoiceinside wrote:Whoa, whoa!
Hey Kelsie!
Here’s to you

thevoiceinside wrote:Two words just aren’t enough
[thank you (repeat)]
I wanna let you know that
I’ll never forget your selfless act

thevoiceinside wrote:(a little guitar smashing action!)

thevoiceinside wrote:Please remember...
Whenever you need someone
And the night has faded the sun
I will be there to lift you up
No matter what!

thevoiceinside wrote:Whoa, whoa!
Hey Kelsie,
I love you!

Hey there!

I know this is important to you, so I'll do my best! I've only written a couple songs (please don't ask to see them ) so I only know so much, but I'll work with what I do know.


Kelsie


(tricked out beat)
(fast talking)

Never had a friend like you
One that is always there
For when I’m feeling blue

I know that I can
Always count on you
There aren’t a lot of people
I would say that to

You’ve been there
Through it all
It’s because of you,
I don’t feel so small

(guitar takes off)

Whoa, whoa!
Hey Kelsie!
Here’s to you This is my favorite part

I was lost in a bottomless pit,
Always taking whatever hit
But you showed me
Who I was meant to be

Two words just aren’t enough
[thank you (repeat)]
I wanna let you know that
I’ll never forget your selfless act "Selfless act" kind of stuck out to me, maybe because it doesn't rhyme with "thank you." I don't know what else you could put there, though... "never forget the selfless things you do"? I dunno, i'm sure you'll come up with something.

[yeah—(crescendo)]
Never had a friend like you
There aren’t a lot of people
I can say that to I like this line too. It just sort of rings true.

(a little guitar smashing action!)

Whoa, whoa!
Hey Kelsie!
Here’s to you

(flippin’ legit beat)

You’re the friend
I never want to lose

You’re the friend
I’ll always remember

Do you know how much
I appreciate you?
You better believe that
What I say is true

Please remember...
Whenever you need someone
And the night has faded the sun
I will be there to lift you up
No matter what!

Whoa, whoa!
Hey Kelsie,
I love you!

(sweet guitar action—fades out and music stops)

*******************
Okay, I gotta say, this is really sweet! I'd love to get this from one of my friends! I'm sorry I couldn't find anything else to fix...maybe that's a good thing.

Good luck! I know she'll love it!
--Anna

I am glad to help you! This was rock n roll, wohooo! I think the only thing you should change is:

Never had a friend like you
One that is always there
For when I’m feeling blue-----blue isn't just the word, maybe it should be:

When I am feeling sad you listen to me and hue

To be honest I don't really know what you should put there. It doesn't have to rhyme you know. Anyways I will give you a star.