Hey, thevoiceinside here --
I wrote this song for a dear friend.
Kelsie has been there for me through it all.
She brought me out of my deepest doubt.
------
Kelsie's Song
Whoa, ooh--ooh!
Hey Kelsie,
Here's to you!
(tricked out beat takes off)
I've never had a friend like you
One that is always there
When I don't know what to do
Now I know,
I can always count on you
There aren’t a lot of people
I would say that to
You’ve been there
Through it all and
It’s because of you,
I don’t feel so small
(guitar takes off)
Whoa, whoa!
Hey Kelsie!
Here’s to you
I was lost in a bottomless pit;
Always taking whatever hit,
But you showed me
Who I was meant to be
[meant to be]
Two words just aren’t enough
[thank you]
To express my gratitude.
I wanna let you know that
I’ll never forget your selfless act
[never forget]
When you said
Everything will be alright
Because you're never alone,
I didn't cry that night
[yeah—(crescendo)]
You were the answer
To my quiet, desperate prayer
God knew what He was doing
When He sent me to know you
Whoa, whoa!
Hey Kelsie!
Here’s to you
(flippin’ legit beat)
You’re the friend
I'll always hold onto
Because
You're the friend
I never want to lose
[forever]
You're the friend
I'll always remember
Do you know how much
I appreciate you?
You better believe that
What I say is true
Please remember...
Whenever you need someone
And the night has faded the sun
I will be there to lift you up
No matter what!
I was lost
(drum pop, pause)
But because of you
(drum pop, pause)
I was found!
Whoa, whoa!
Hey Kelsie,
I love you!
(sweet guitar action—fades out and music stops)
------
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140,563 Literary Works • 673,441 Reviews
Hey, as far as criticisms go I couldn't really find anything that haven't already been mentioned and fixed so just wanted to add my support for this great song. It's nice to finally see a positive, fun song on here since so many people seem to use lyrics just to outpour negative emotions (no offence meant to them, i do it too) and I especially thought the stage directions - like "(tricked out beat takes off)" - added a nice touch =D
Hey, thevoiceinside!
I love what you've done to it! I think it flows better and sounds more professional now. Sorry I couldn't get here before you gave it to Kelsie, but I'm sure glad you did! Well done!
--Anna
My favorite part is
When you said
Everything will be alright
Cause' you're never alone,
I didn't cry that night
That would sound really cool in a song. My only thing is the "I love you" at the end. It's a little cheesy to be made into a real song, but it's fine anyway. I would have written "here's to you" or something.
Songs don't need to have a lot of rhyming. It's great.
I just want to say first of all....Thank you!! to all of you
I really appreciate it!
I'm considering all of your suggestions and I'm so grateful to you guys because you're helping me a lot with this. I hope many more people will give their opinions too. I'm opening to a lot of suggestions.
To answer your question Carly, I would love to record me singing it......but I can't sing, I swear a cow dies in some far off land every time I attempt the whole singing thing haha so I'm just going to give her the lyrics the next time we hang out.
I'm going to edit this and then change it on here so please be on the look out for it and tell me what you think of it before I print out the final one to give to her. I would REALLY appreciate that!
I love you all! thank you
-thevoiceinside
First of all...I just wanted to say I think it's really sweet that you're writing a song for your friend about how much she means to you
I think you kind of forced the rhyme a little here. I actually think it would sound fine if you didn't rhyme it. 'feeling down' maybe?
Again, the 'feel so small', I feel kind of forces the rhyme a little and I wouldn't even necessarily rhyme there.
I really like this part
bold: this kind of confused me the way you wrote it. Are you like chanting/saying this or do you say it twice?
bold underline: I want to know what the selfless act is. Maybe add another stanza describing this act.
I'm not sure what to do with this line. It doesn't flow as well as the rest of them and the rhyming seems a little forced again.
Love this stanza though.
love the way you end it
I really like this song. I think its super sweet that you're doing this for your friend!
Are you actually going to record it and give it to her or just give her the lyrics?
-Carly
Hey there!
) so I only know so much, but I'll work with what I do know.
I know this is important to you, so I'll do my best! I've only written a couple songs (please don't ask to see them
Kelsie
(tricked out beat)
(fast talking)
Never had a friend like you
One that is always there
For when I’m feeling blue
I know that I can
Always count on you
There aren’t a lot of people
I would say that to
You’ve been there
Through it all
It’s because of you,
I don’t feel so small
(guitar takes off)
Whoa, whoa!
Hey Kelsie!
Here’s to you This is my favorite part
I was lost in a bottomless pit,
Always taking whatever hit
But you showed me
Who I was meant to be
Two words just aren’t enough
[thank you (repeat)]
I wanna let you know that
I’ll never forget your selfless act "Selfless act" kind of stuck out to me, maybe because it doesn't rhyme with "thank you." I don't know what else you could put there, though... "never forget the selfless things you do"? I dunno, i'm sure you'll come up with something.
[yeah—(crescendo)]
Never had a friend like you
There aren’t a lot of people
I can say that to I like this line too. It just sort of rings true.
(a little guitar smashing action!)
Whoa, whoa!
Hey Kelsie!
Here’s to you
(flippin’ legit beat)
You’re the friend
I never want to lose
You’re the friend
I’ll always remember
Do you know how much
I appreciate you?
You better believe that
What I say is true
Please remember...
Whenever you need someone
And the night has faded the sun
I will be there to lift you up
No matter what!
Whoa, whoa!
Hey Kelsie,
I love you!
(sweet guitar action—fades out and music stops)
*******************
Okay, I gotta say, this is really sweet! I'd love to get this from one of my friends! I'm sorry I couldn't find anything else to fix...maybe that's a good thing.
Good luck! I know she'll love it!
--Anna
I am glad to help you! This was rock n roll, wohooo! I think the only thing you should change is:
Never had a friend like you
One that is always there
For when I’m feeling blue-----blue isn't just the word, maybe it should be:
When I am feeling sad you listen to me and hue
To be honest I don't really know what you should put there. It doesn't have to rhyme you know. Anyways I will give you a star.