Struggling Hard to Experience

This is fun. I love the practice of Blackout poetry. I hope you enjoyed making it. Did you select words while thinking about any particular topic or did you just chose words at random that spoke to you? Either way the end result is pretty resounding. The word choice ( especially where words are repeated ) is potent, and I appreciate that. There are some points where syntax makes it weird ( 'well, realistically' is pretty odd by itself out there ) but that's part of the spontaneous process. What I really want to see, is you go back to this material and craft a poem out of it. With little work, this could take on a whole new level of meaning. There's a lovely sense of chance and separation in the piece ( obviously ) which could be used to great affect as a poem about daily life, about creating art, about life in general. Im fascinated by this. I wanna see the next stage!

Hello!

I really like blackout poetry. But I think what I like most about it is actually seeing the parts that were blacked out and what was left. It kind of ruins its flavor when you just type it out. Also, I know that it's hard to do black out poetry that makes sense, but if I was reviewing this as a regular poem (which I am), I would say that this really doesn't make much sense. You have words that sound like they would fit together, but I think you're missing a lot of important words to make this make logical sense. If you put this all together as prose, could you even make heads or tails of it? I'm not sure what the message or the content is, so I'm finding it hard to review that as I should do.

Now because you have typed it up, you are allowed to adjust the spacing to make it easier to read. As it is, it feels like a long list that didn't really hold my interest. It makes a relatively short poem infinitely longer.

I hope this helped. Keep writing!
~fortis

Jeez I love blackout poems. I only wonder what kind of article you chose to blackout to achieve such a profound and emotional piece! Anyways I really, really like it and thought I can't comment on the structure or wording of it (because.. hello.. blackout poem) I can talk about CHOICE of words. Each word in a blackout poem is supposed to be EXTREMELY justified, and every word has it's own unique meta-meaning within that piece. With that being said I feel as if repeating certain words, especially directly after the previous, kind of dillutes the reader-effect of that word in the first place.

"
disconnection?

repeatedly disconnected?
"

That for example sounds ok as is, however if you removed the second disconnected you're left with
"disconnection
repeatedly,"

And personally I feel as a reader that's immensely more powerful as it also acts a segue of sorts.

There's not much to talk about with blackout poetry, but I did my best. I hope you enjoyed this little bit of advice, because I know I enjoyed the poem!

All the best.

Hello there! Sarah here to er... review for ya!

Now this is going to be a bit difficult for me, since I know little about poetry and just about nothing about these "blackout poems", but I'll try my best to keep you clear of the green room so here goes nothing!

First, I'm glad you mentioned just what kind of poem this is because my first nitpick would've been "CHOPPY, CHOPPY, CHOPPY!". But, now that that's cleared up, I'll just stick to the basics. I feel like there should be some capitalization separating our sentences. Since its already a bit hard to tell what goes together in a poem like this, I don't think a few capital letters would hurt much.

Second, and this isn't a nitpick, your words are nicely chosen and sound well together. I liked reading this out loud because everything felt right on my tongue. You do very well with imagery and that's something I like to see in poetry.

There's not much left for me to say other than great work! I love what you've created and hope to see more of works like these in the future.
Happy writing!