She was back in the arena. The disgusting, sweet smell of roses filled the air. She couldn't breathe. When the smell faded away, she suffocated in the thick crimson air sticking onto her dry skin like blood.
Where was everyone? A deserted arena?
Footsteps. Louder and louder.
She couldn't turn around. It was as if a force was keeping her from facing her fear. Protecting her or harming her?
Louder. The sound was becoming deafening. She turned around.
People. Hundreds of people following her like empty promises she never kept. Tributes? Mutts? At first all their faces were blurred as ifcanceled from her memory but then... Cinna. Rue. Finnick. A tear rushed down her cheek as a girl with blonde braids made her way to the front.
"Prim." katniss mouthed as more tears escaped from her eyes.
But nobody heard. It was like they didn't even see her. Or they weren't even there. What were they? Mutts, spirits, ghosts of all the people whose deaths she was responsible for? More and more kept coming. She couldn't take it anymore. All she could do was run. Run, run and run until she was sure they would haunt her no more. The smell of blood and roses grew stronger. She collapsed onto a bush of roses. The thorns cut her skin but she felt nothing, already the pain and tears having drained all her feelings away. She began to close her eyes as she watched her blood paint the white roses red. Then she saw someone. A blonde head.
"Peeta!" she cried.
He turned around, but she was not staring into his deep, loveable blue eyes. It was his tortured glare.Tthe look that haunted her dreams at night. With an evil smirk he said, "Here to finish me off sweetheart?"
And then it's all over. She opens her eyes. It is dark but she can hear a baby's short breaths and almost see inside a little girl's dreams. Most importantly she feels the person she cares the most for lying next to her, the blue eyes she recognized open.
"Stay with me" she whispers.
"Always."
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,786 Reviews
Heya, thegirlwhowrites! I enjoy reading the Hunger Games, so I'm glad to see this!
So, let's get started. There should be a space between "if" and "canceled."
"At first all their faces were blurred as ifcanceled from her memory but then... Cinna. Rue. Finnick."
First off, in this sentence, after "Prim" there should be a comma, not a period. "Katniss" should be capitalized.
""Prim." katniss mouthed as more tears escaped from her eyes."
Here, are there any words you can use to describe Peeta that are more delicate? "A blond head" sounds a bit weird to the reader. At least, it did to me. Maybe, "His golden hair stood out against the bright red powder-like surroundings."
"Then she saw someone. A blonde head."
There should probably be a space between "The" and "glare." Also, "The" should not have a double t. In addition, there should be a comma after "off."
"It was his tortured glare.Tthe look that haunted her dreams at night. With an evil smirk he said, 'Here to finish me off sweetheart?'"
I can't really understand... does Katniss have a little girl? Or what? Or is she just comparing her breaths to a baby's? And what does she mean by a little girl's dreams? The text is still confusing to me.
"It is dark but she can hear a baby's short breaths and almost see inside a little girl's dreams."
And finally, one last nitpick. There should be a comma after "me."
""Stay with me" she whispers."
That's it for the grammatical fixes. There's not much to say about the content, but I like the white roses you added in. The Capitol really does have it in for her. The only thing I'm ambiguous about is this: she's in the empty arena, and she sees everybody whose death she has been responsible for. Shouldn't she feel some type of guilt? I think you need to add in some description of feelings... if she caused her own sister's death then it has to be there somewhere, right?
I guess that's all I have for you. The idea's really nice and like how Peeta's included. Good job on writing this and continue to make your works better!
XOX,
Artemis28
I was immediately drawn in! That was great. I can't say I'm a fan of the Hunger Games (I did read them though...) but this really peaked my interest. You played off of the characters so well. And I think the best part if it all was the emotion of fear and terror as well as the absolutely spectacular descriptions you've provided! It was definitely worth my while to read!
I also thoroughly enjoyed your reference to the roses. Now with most things I've read on this site, people haven't done the greatest job of repetition... it certainly is a hard thing to master...but you couldn't have done any better. You introduced the roses in so many different ways that I didn't realize how often they were mentioned until I finished reading.
...
The one thing that did bother me was when Peeta said,
This bothered me because "sweetheart" was the 'endearing' phrase Haymitch always gave Katniss.
Again, this was great, and I look forward to reading more from you! Have a great Christmas and I hope you never stop writing!!
Thank you so much!
I'm happy you noticed the white roses... I really thought they symbolized The Capitol (President Snow) and her hate and fear for it. It had to be in he nightmare!
As for what Peeta says, I added that to go back to the time when he is hijacked and tortured, and Katniss has to see the love of her life (she realizes) as someone else wanting to kill her... so in Mockimgjay, there is one part where he does say that line to her so that's why I added it in. it's almost like that memory was representing itself as a nightmare and haunting her dreams.
thanks again!
Ok, I don't remember reading that, but I guess it's been a while and you certainly don't need my help.
This is absolutely beautifully written, well done! I absolutely love The Hunger Games and I think you have captured the style and the feeling of the novels really well. I love how you have chosen to go into detail about Katniss' nightmares, something Collins doesn't do in the books and you've related it back to how with Peeta she feels safe.
One thing I would say though is the choice of wording in what Peeta says makes me think more of Haymitch than of Peeta, in reference to the use of the word "sweetheart". That's just a word I relate to Haymitch's character. Also, pay no attention as it is completely my fault for reading too much lemon-y HG fan fic but, "finish me off" had me going "Oh no! It's not going to turn into one of them is it..."
Seriously though, this is a lovely piece! I'd love to read more.
*three fingered salute and four note whistle to my fellow tribute*
'() since I imagine that is what haunted Katniss the most: seeing the person she loved hating and believing she is a mutt. So, about the finish me off sentence, I added that to the piece as Suzanne once makes Peeta say it when he hates Katniss. 
I loved looking into my perspective of Katniss' character and her inner demons.
Thanks for the lovely comment!
About what Peeta says, I wanted to mirror what happens in Mockingjay when he is rescued from the Capitol and taken into District 13 and is hijacked and tortured
Oh, and thanks!
Just out of curiosity... is your username a swiftie mention?
Ahh i totally understand! Honestly though everytime I hear the word sweetheart I'm like Haymitch-say what? Aaaah, yes it is a swiftie reference
This was beautifully written. You really had me going for a while there. I held my breath the whole time. Then to read that it is just a dream. You have no idea how relieved I was, to find this was just a dream. I can only imagine the post traumatic stress both Katniss and Peeta must go though. After the first time, and then again after Catching Fire. Like I said before this is very beautifully written. I find nothing wrong with your story. Keep on writing. Shalie
Wow thank you so much!!
I know, I just really loved getting into Katniss' mind, in her darkest and haunting memories and try to imagine what it must feel like...
Very touching, so close to crying. The writing made it so easy for me to picture the whole scene, keep writing! This is amazing!
Thank you thank you thank you!!
Just made me really happy...
Man, almost cried at the end. This is so good and you've captured Katniss and Peeta's so well. I am just at a lost for words at how well you've written this. I could totally see this happening to me if I were Katniss.
The feelings of the pain an sorrow were so real. At the end you could feel the love that Katniss an Peeta's truly felt for each other. This was beautifully executed. I could find no mistakes in your grammar or spelling. You are a wonderful writer.
I'm sure that you've written this due to the movie Catching Fire. I honestly can't wait until Mockingjay is out. I have been comparing the movie and the book to find the differences. The movies are pretty spot on.
Again thank you for writing this.
Wow, your comment just made my day. You have no idea how much this means. Thank you. (Sorry for almost making you cry... must mean it worked though!
)
Oh gosh, I don't even know where to start explaining the perfection of Francis Lawrence, Catching Fire's director... Yes, I am DYING for the Mockingjay movies and I'm sure they will break our poor little hearts just as the books did.
You're welcome for writing this!
Thank YOU for reading it!
Oh. I really liked that. I love reading hunger games fan fiction. I liked the way you included quotes from the book. Also, I always thought it would be interesting to look inside Katniss's nightmares. And with peeta comforting her just like in the books, it was one of the sweetest Peeta-Katniss moments.
Oh my gosh this means so much! Thank you!!
Same, I would have loved for them to have added Katniss' nightmares in the Catching Fire movie. It was so heart-wrenching when she saw Marvel at the start.
Huuuuuuge *everlark* shipper; happy my story was effective!
Merry Christmas!