Hunger Games Fanfic: Odesta short story

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Note: this was written quite quickly on Instagram actually, I might edit it later on. Let me know what you think! :)

The sound of the waves was too much for her. With each crash against the sand her heart cracked a little bit more. She was only here for him, his golden, messy hair glued to his forehead, and those eyes. His father's eyes. That sea green colour that no longer reminded her of the ocean, but of him. It hurt her to look at her son and she hated herself for it.

She knew that taking him to the beach was what his father would want. She huddled herself in a tiny ball next to the shore just close enough to have we feet caressed by the waves every second. She almost felt closer to him like this, almost as if the waves of the sea would bring him back, like he were just on a long trip out across the ocean. She buried her head in between her knees and just sat there, letting her son get in touch with his home and waited for him. She did not cry, and she wondered if all her tears had been already drained out of her body in the last 6 years. All she was capable of was sitting motionless, eyes open but staring into oblivion. Sometimes it took her son hours of desperate pleading to get her back to reality, to him.

She heard tiny footsteps coming towards her and sitting down. He did not say anything and after a while she decided to look up. Her son looked away from the water and stared into her eyes, his sea green reflecting against her watery brown. A tear dribbled down her cheek and she was just about to look away when her son showed her a piece of rope. Not just any rope. It was tied into several, intricate knots, just like he used to do it.

"It wasn't me." said the boy, his voice melodic like the backwards and forwards of the waves. "It came in from the sea. I found it on the shore just here." he pointed beneath her toes.

His mother took it in her quivering hands and held it to her heart.

"Finnick. I knew you were always here."

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steward
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steward wrote a review · Tue Mar 11, 2014 5:29 pm

Hiya, this just got my attention., :)
I love the hunger games.!, :D

I'll go ahead and read., ;)

...enough to have we feet caressed by the waves every second.

'we feet'? Did you mean 'wee feet' or 'our feet'? :)

Like that she almost felt closer to him, almost as if the waves of the sea would bring him back, as if he were just on a long trip out across the ocean.

Uhm, I didn't really understand this part., the structure I guess? Could you have meant 'Like that, she almost felt closer to him...'., but I suggest you just remove the words 'Like that'., It sounds better, whatever works., :)

Okay, that's all so far., :) Loved the whole thing.,
Keep writing, keep smiling, and
*-rock.on., :D

Thank you! Yes, I'll fix those!
*three finger salute*

You're very welcome., :D
*three-finger flying kiss*

The Missing piece here for a review! I LOVE THE HUNGER GAMES! OMG! This is such a good and sad story! I just love it! OMG AMAZING. Okay now I'm going to go into grammar Nazi mode. Well first off you put two I's at one point like

" Iit wasn't me." said the boy, "

But that was all I noticed. You could put

"I-it wasn't me."

I LOVE IT SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! Keep writing! I Need More Hunger Games Fan Fics!!!
~The Missing Piece.

Oh my- what. *sobs*
This was such a beautiful piece, seriously. When I was reading it, I was just thinking of Finnick and Annie and their son and everything ever written about them.
Some of your descriptions are just amazing, I really like:
[quote] his voice melodic like the backwards and forwards of the waves. [\quote]
(Sorry, did the quote thing not work? I can't tel :P )That was really brilliant, and your characters are fabulous, just how I'd imagined them, only it was just brought to life by this piece.
Only grammatical mistake: "Iit wasn't me."
This could be:
"Iit wasn't me."
Or:
""I-it wasn't me."
So just adding the speech mark and either dropping the "i" or adding a "-" :)

I particularly liked the description of the eyes too, as they're similar to Finnick's for one thing, and they're, again, brought to life. :)
Great job, and I hope that this helped! :)
-CFG

Nope, it didn't work. Soz boz. :D

Hello again and thanks for reviewing! I'm happy you liked it.
:D Hint: don't put spaces in between the brackets and "quote" and the slash is this way /
Oh, I'll fix that, it was actually just a typo, I'll take away the little "i"

Ahhh! I see! Thank you! And great work! :)



You may deem me romantic, my dear sister, but I bitterly feel the want of a friend.
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein