When You Hold Me

Hello Boolovesyou Here! ( let's pretend I don't know you like you are related to me )

First off for grammar

My breathing's getting faster, I’m completely a disaster.
[ breathing should not have an apostrophe but be breathing is. Perhaps use a different word for getting when pertaining to fast paced breathing. Think about saying I'm a complete disaster makes it sharp.]

You hold me in your arms and tell me to calm down.
[ Use a stronger word then hold to show the image. Comma after arms. Tell me- try to be more descriptive here. Like you whisper... blah blah, just more description.]

My chest is seizing up, I think I’m going to drown.
[ Seizes ( for tense sake ), I feel as if I am drowning or breath comes hard to reach my lips. A big thing about poetry is describing the feeling or action more then just saying it.]

You sneak in a kiss and take my clenched hand.
[ Comma after before and. ]

My fingers slowly relax as I lace them into yours.
[ lessen grip ect. explain more ]

You gently wipe my cheek as the tears begin to pour.

My body shakes and shivers and my lips start to tremble.

You pull me to your chest and start to reassemble me.
[ And I start to reassemble ]

My fears wash away like the sea as I listen to your heart beat.

You have a very good poem here, but its little of the bones of one. Remember to be descriptive and explain actions and emotions. They are EXTREMELY important. Overall you rhymes were pretty good. I liked the content of the poem a lot. Everything I said were suggestions remember your writing will get better as you write more.

As a friend: You are adorable,

Nice work! PM me or post on my wall if you have any questions!

- Boolovesyou