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125,011 Literary Works • 672,840 Reviews
Wow, this is fairly good.. I do agree with @AlexInCircusland , about the fourth line.. But then again, this is your piece and you seen to have like the way that sounds. I understand where you;re coming from in the third line. That is the one that sticks out the most to me.. I'm actually really happy with that line because its really showing your emotions. It overall quite good. c:
Thank you very much! I really do need to change the fourth line...Just haven't gotten the chance recently. I guess I used it kinda as a filler...
Very nice. Um...I feel that this really does express what a cutter feels on the inside whenever they cut, which is something I've been trying to portray myself but you...you do it very nicely. I can't really find anything to correct in this, except....
The fourth line seems a little out of place. Maybe it's just me, but it just doesn't seem to make sense. Then again, not a lot of things make sense to me, so maybe it's just me.
I like how you really described the feelings. It gave the poem good voice, and made the poem easy to understand.
Good job=)
Thank you so much! I've never really written before so I was a little nervous to put anything on here. :s So thank you very much.
And I agree...line four could use an adjustment. I'll try to work on that sometime. I appreciate your comment!