Trust

by th3beezkn33z
  • April 17, 2012
  • Poetry
  • Other
  • Poems
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Everyone goes through life thinking,
they have that one person they can trust.
But then one day they find a little rust,
And the chain is so much easier to bust.
Their secrets,
Their identity,
Is blowing around like dust.
So tell me please, Why is trust a must?

Comments & reviews · 1
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creativityrules
Review
creativityrules wrote a review · Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:48 am

Hi there! I'm Rosie, and I'm here to review this piece today. :D

This is a cute little poem, and considering its size, it has quite a bit to offer. I adore the meaning of it since I can identify with it; lately I've been thinking quite a bit about trust and what it really means, so this was very relevant.

The only criticism I can offer is to maybe introduce vocabulary into your work that's slightly more unique. When your writing style is simple, as it is in this piece, it's essential to use words that are especially vibrant to make the simplicity of your work shine instead of making it bland. I always use a thesaurus when I'm writing; no matter how many words I know, they'll always be more to learn, and with every word I learn, I have a new way to express my feelings.

All in all, great work! I look forward to seeing more from you. No matter what, keep writing and stay true to yourself. And most of all, have fun!

Bye!

-Rosie

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th3beezkn33z
th3beezkn33z replied · Wed Apr 18, 2012 3:24 am

Thanks so much! I'll keep that in mind. :)



You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.
— J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan