princess that wants to be a prince

Hey there syz!! I'm here to give you a review on this lovely poem <3
First of all, I just adore the rich imagery you've got going on. All these feelings, encapsulated into images that put the reader into the narrator's mind! It's a great exploration of gender and the internal struggle that comes along with a realization like this. Kudos for that!
One of my FAVORITE lines was this--

the stylist cut eight inches off & i bit back the words asking for another.
slash it all off until it falls over my cheekbones, until it barely brushes past my ears.

Like WHAT?! That's such a rich feeling and image you've got there!! I can feel myself in the body of the narrator.
My one critique is that you could definitely carry that imagery into the second-to-last stanza--that specific section feels a bit more narrative and less descriptive, so it's a bit out of place. Explore the feelings behind those events, the pain and betrayal the narrator feels.
Overall, though, I definitely enjoyed this!! It's such an insight into the narrator's mind, all that pain and realization.
Keep writing!
<3, chem

Hey there , syzygy. I'm Alex and I'll be reviewing your poem today.

This isn't a poem you just read and go about your usual day. It stays with you. It's a hard pill to swallow. The truth is presented without trying to dress up its ugliness- like showing yourself a mirror.

The first stanza is a call to your younger self. She's seated in front of a mirror and has an ambition to be a princess, like almost every other girl in the the world. On surface level, it seems quite a generic line. But as we proceed, the striking contrast to the present scenario and its deeper interpretation dawns on the reader.

The second stanza is especially heartbreaking. Here, the speaker is not yearning for the approval and acceptance of the society or her family but instead, that of her younger self. She's troubled by the thought that she's disappointed her past self by dying her hair and getting her hair cut short.

i bit back the words asking for another.

These lines are particularly crushing depicting how the expectations of her younger self to be her princess is hindering her present ability to live her life authentically.

The third stanza moves to the wardrobe, describing the change in styles of clothes. It's drastic and moving. A subtle hint of a changing personality and discovery of sexual identity with age. While the speaker isn't much reminiscent of more colour in her life, she's still worried of the opinions her younger would have had, if she were to see herself like this. In a way, she's caged by the prejudice of her own younger self.

The fourth stanza feels completely bare to read, as if the reader can sense how transparent it is. The words used are firm and specific, leaving no room for ambiguities and shame. The speaker is hiding her truth from her parents, fearing it'd make her parents scream.
Certain questions are mentioned, which she removes from her watch history -
1. how much is top surgery: the question is bold, suggesting the speaker's urge to transition. It's decisive and calculative of the expense of her want to determine it's affordability to her
2. buzzfeed trans quizzes- we've all been there, haven't we? The question is draped in doubt. It's vague and pointing to a torn gut, not knowing what to believe. The fact that the speaker got here means she is most probably aware of her sexuality and in denial and disbelief about it, hoping none of it's true. By extension, the speaker wants her life back- the one she had before she knew it. Now a simple exploration has changed everything and nothing will be the same ever again.
3. will my parents ever love me?: this search is most saddening. A kid craving her parents' love. She's aware of the daunting reality that this talk will strain her relationship with her parents. It's even got a latent knowledge of the fact that they'll be really upset with her right away she breaks the news, she isn't even protesting it. But she wonders if she'll ever be loved again as she was once, at some point in the future. A shattering role to imagine oneself into. The love of parents is supposed to be unconditional but the speaker knows better than to have such high hopes.
We find out that her doubts were rightly raised, as her parents find out the truth nevertheless and lecture her for it. Real life isn't like the movies, you don't get hugged and told that you're still loved. You're scolded for being who you are, even if it's not something you can change.

The fifth stanza is overwhelming, when kept alongside the first one. The princess has become a prince. The mirror remains but the dream has changed. The desire is no more to be a princess, but to possess masculinity instead. The change of pronouns grabs the attention of the reader. The speaker wants to be a prince now, but is reminded of his/her reality that she/he isn't masculine enough to be one.

As a queer person myself, this poem hit close to home. It made me think of all the things I never pondered. Truly, how would my younger self react to my present identity? How can the support of society and parents ever matter if he'd not accept me in the first place... The poem was uncomfortable to read, as it engaged in difficult but real topics. Your words manages to capture the trouble existence of queer identities. It vocalised my pain, better than I ever could. It's an absolute masterpiece. Numerous people with struggling identities shall resonate with this poem as I did. Hope to read more from you sometime soon.