tell me you like me
tell me how your skin ignites with fire when it brushes against mine
tell me how you see stars and feel fireworks when our eyes meet
tell me how your stomach's dormant butterflies awaken at the sound of my voice
tell me how i'm your favorite person and the first figure spotted in a crowd
tell me how i'm a ray of sunlight during your dark and depressing days
tell me how you feel safe with me and how i feel like home
tell me you love me like i love you
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139,896 Literary Works • 672,725 Reviews
Hello! Hop here with a review! I am trying to write longer one's but they still could be longer! Please try and give me grace on this since I'm not the best at that! Thank you so much and now here is my review!
I feel like this poem is really emotional and honest. I liked how it kept saying "Tell me how" at the start of each line. it made it feel like the narrator was really trying to get the crush to listen. It’s like they’re asking for love but also asking to be noticed and cared about.
The lines are super sweet and full of strong feelings. Stuff like "your skin ignites with fire" and "see stars and feel fireworks" made it sound magical like out of a movie. And “I’m your favorite person” You can tell the speaker really loves this person a lot.
The last line is my favorite. "tell me you love me like I love you." It’s simple but really powerful. It makes you wonder if the other person feels the same way or not.
If I had to change anything, maybe I’d add a little more about how the speaker feels when they don’t hear these things. Like, are they sad? Nervous? That could make the poem even stronger.
Overall, it’s a really good poem. It’s short, but it says a lot. I felt the emotions and I think other people would too. Great job! Also, congratulations on the relationship! As always, keep up the good work and stay awesome!!!!
thank you so much for the review!! <3
Hey, SpunkyMonkey! (May I say that's a hilarious username, nice to meet you XD) This Alex, dropping by a review. Let's dive right in.
To kick things off, I'm a huge fan of the contrasting similarity between the title and work itself. The title suggests the protagonist is insecure and seeks validation from their lover. But throughout the poem, they seem to manipulate (that sounds a little extreme but you know what I mean) or force the words out of their lover's mouth. The tone is rather threatening like 'you better tell me or what will follow won't be pretty' in a slightly fun, teasing way. The narrative is demanding, reflecting boldness over hesitancy. Despite both things contradicting, I must admit the idea goes rather well together. Must've been no easy feat, to achieve so keep it up!
The first line itself somewhat answers the question presented in the title. It's like the protagonist is leading the charge, presenting their desire of what they want to hear from their partner as bluntly as one possibly can.
I can't quite tell if the protagonist is this well aware of their lover's emotions and feelings or is taking some liberties in their imaginative thinking. But either way, the imagery is astoundingly vivid and descriptive. I also liked you using the word 'how' instead of 'if'. It subtly implies the obviousness of these feelings existing in the lover's mind, the protagonist merely wishes to hear these words in their partner's voice, to confess the irresistible effect the protagonist has on them.
An impressive shift of tone was executed here. This part feels more personal and intimate while the previous one leaned more towards the generic turmoil caused by love. The protagonist and their lover seem to have an unexplainable connection, as they spot each other in a crowd real easy. A small detail but tells us so much about them. The reader is also made to believe they're genuinely good for each other, as the protagonist helps them get through their rough days. What screams love more than staying at your partner's side through the devastating storms? Even when everything is alright and running well, the protagonist is their lover's comfort, their HOME. To feel safe in someone's company is the best sign of undeniable trust. They're both clearly the perfect match for each other.
A great closing. Specifically, I noticed this to be the only portion which expresses the love being reciprocated. Throughout the poem, the protagonist is asking their lover to confess. But here, the protagonist indirectly acknowledges their own feelings of love for their partner. For once, they're laying their soul bare instead of peeking and asking their partner to reveal what lies in their heart. Also, they're merely asking their lover to return the same amount of affection the protagonist showers on them, neither any more, nor any less. This request is specially powerful. It's a valid ask, not insisting on unequal commitment, but a balance in love. Purely beautiful.
All in all, I absolutely loved reading this. It says so much in so little words, I'm in awe. The reader thinks the protagonist is insecure at first, but is severely misled. The tone is a little dominating, but never too pushy. The protagonist is already aware of the things they do their partner, but are keen to hear their lover admit it. They want to hear how they drag them mad with love. There's romantic tension and nervousness, accompanied with comfort and support- an ideal blend in love. The feelings are mutual and replicated, in a love story to be admired. Such a heartwarming love to witness! It was a pleasure to review this, hope to read more from you sometime.
Regards
Alex
thank you so much for the review and kind words! <33
it's a 'novel' idea to put 'poetic' words into the beloved's mouth.
Lucky for you that you got your crush as a boyfriend!!! I love how each sentence starts the same but ends with a different interesting line! So nice! I have no idea why, but my brain rapped it out XD like a song. I feel like it could be a song! I love the last line, aww, so cute! It is very descriptive and unique, and I look forward to more of your works! Happy Writing!
thank you!
No prob!!!