tick, tick, CRASH!
You broke the clock.
“Oops, sorry! (I hope
No one noticed”)
And you leave it
As it stopped,
As if it could start again
On its own, with
No hands to guide it
And no real idea
What went wrong.
No ticks, no tocks.
Unstarting, you wait.
No tocks, no ticks.
Yielding, your whim.
But you must start it,
Profusely muttering apologies
As everyone is watching.
The time is wrong.
Once started, unmatched
Like your hands
As you move to fix, readjust
Like your lips
With more sorries
Too focused on the apology
To do it right.
tock, tick, tock.
You did not line it up.
Hopeful the non-sentient
Would work itself out
And out of this situation.
Of course, it doesn’t.
Badness rising in your chest
Tear gulped down and digested
You approach again,
Too focused on sorry,
On pity, on sounding right
It is left unnoticed
That crack in the corner.
A passage of time,
Still so uneven
You are impatient, tapping glass
Like a child at the zoo
And cracking it more,
Chipping away at pieces
Till the face is gone.
You destroy it, bit by bit
As everyone watches
But eyes glossed over, say nothing.
Shatter, shatter, tick!
Gluing it together in pieces
You leave out so many.
Only the personal, the exquisite,
Only that which shines
You add in and
Excuse your mistakes,
Covered in green glitter
As if they are beautiful.
Still not right.
The hands are not the same
And yours are full of notes
10-page apology letters
Filler -weighing and serving no one.
Only you are full of it.
You must rewind it, you
Cannot do such a thing
And risk losing knowledge of failure
And all the apologies.
And all of the memories.
Originally written May 1st, 2026
I've been unsure about how to edit this work to make it sound better, so now I'm posting it here for some feedback.
Here are some questions for if you want ideas on what to mention in your review:
What do you interpret this poem as being about?
Do you think adding some kind of structure or poetic form might improve this poem?
What do you think is the message of this poem? Does it even have one? If not, how could the message of this poem be made more clear?
Could the poem benefit from more literary devices such as imagery, similies, metaphors, etc?
What are some symbols in this poem and what do you think they represent? How could these meanings be made more clear? Does the poem need more symbols?
hey hey! ^_^
THIS IS SUCH A GOOD ANXIOUS POEM!!
thoughts
[1] the central clock metaphor is really strong! the poem captures that awful feeling of making a mistake, apologizing too much, trying to fix it, and somehow breaking it worse because the panic becomes bigger than the original damage. Too focused on the apology / To do it right is SUCH a realistic line! we know a lot about feeling like that, trying to fix things that could be better off not fixed.
[2] the sound play works well here! tick, tick, CRASH!, No ticks, no tocks, tock, tick, tock, and Shatter, shatter, tick! make the poem feel mechanical but also unstable. we like that the rhythm itself starts to feel “wrong,” like the clock is misaligned inside the poem too.
suggestions
[1] your poem is strongest when it embraces the clock metaphor. lines like No hands to guide it, The hands are not the same, and You must rewind it all work beautifully with the idea. some moments, like Yielding, your whim, feel a little abstract compared to the rest, so grounding them in the clock/action imagery might make the poem more concise.
[2] as for symbols: we love the green glitter image, but it could maybe be pushed further. Covered in green glitter / As if they are beautiful is such a good description of trying to decorate mistakes instead of repairing them. we think you could bring that idea back later, maybe to show how their anxiety seeps into everything, much like how glitter gets everywhere.
[3] as for structure, we think the best option would be controlled repetition, not a strict form like a sonnet. something like recurring refrains:
tick, tick, CRASH!
No ticks, no tocks.
tock, tick, tock.
Shatter, shatter, tick!
overall, this is really compelling!! the clock metaphor is clear without being too obvious, and now we want to write our own poem about clocks!!
~ adore
Hello!
I'm going to review your work using some of the questions you gave (thanks by the way, I often can't think of what to say)
What do you interpret this poem as being about?
While reading the beginning, I imagined that it was about someone breaking a clock on accident and trying to repare it. Then, on the paragraph "A passage of time... You destroy it, bit by bit / As everyone watches / But eyes glossed over, say nothing." I imagined the character losing patience with the clock and trying to brake it more. On the before-last paragraph, I wasn't sure wether they ended up by going away and then apologising, or if this was just a thought, making them want to repare the clock even more. At the end, I tended to go towards the 'just a thought' one.
Do you think adding some kind of structure or poetic form might improve this poem?
Yes, I think that it might make your poem clearer and easier to read. But overall, I really liked it, especially how you wrote about the sounds the clock makes, and how the hands don't align, and it is going wrong. I don't think that you should change the plot.
Could the poem benefit from more literary devices such as imagery, similies, metaphors, etc?
No, I don't think that it needs any more - you already added a great variety of them and placed them through your work in a way that makes your poem interesting and enjoyable!
What do you think is the message of this poem?
Firstly, I want to say that I am terrible at finding messages and themes in pieces of litterature. I am more of an 'enjoying the read and not caring about themes, analysises and such except if it's my own work' kind of person. But I think that your poem is deep and probably has a lot of interesting messages in it!
I can't really think of answers for your other questions, but I really liked your poem, and especially the last paragraph; I liked how you ended it with "And all of the memories." which leaves a sort of ringing silence in the reader's head at the end. I also overall liked that last paragraph.
Thank you so much for writing this!
Have a nice day