I'm feeling like the weather's too cold, and the sky's not the right hue of blue.
I'm feeling as if everyone's hushed conversation is still too loud, and my music couldn't possibly be louder.
I'm feeling like your admiration is far too much, but yet not enough.
I'm feeling like I'll be stuck here forever, and the seat I'm in is far too uncomfortable.
I'm feeling far too tired to continue this poem, but I know this isn't the right way to end it.
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Canary word: Present
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Hi Sophie!
You're totally right. The weather is too cold and the sky's not the right hue of blue. I mean, gray? That's totally not a shade of blue!
Onward to the poem! I think my favorite part about this poem is "I'm feeling like your admiration is far too much, but yet not enough." I've felt that before with people who have had crushes on me, so I totally relate to this line. On one hand, they seem to slobberingly adore everything that you do, even if it's something you're actively trying to change about you. On the other hand, they don't connect with you and admire you in some way that you want to be admired.
Now! One little thing that kind of tripped me up was this line:
The last bit of that line sounds a bit awkward. Like, I think I know what you're saying (your music can't be loud enough) but the way you phrased it is just a little awkward.
Anyway, nice stuff here!
Hello, sophiereichelt. Miranda here to give you a review. I have to say this is the second poem that I've ever read to actually connect with me. The second line, wow, just wow. I feel like I can actually relate to that the most. But yet, the whole poem is just wow; usually in poems it is just wow in one part, but in yours it is wow everywhere. I loved how you repeated "I'm feeling" to emphasize how you really are feeling and how it shouldn't be taken lightly. I have never read anything this true. I thank you for your time and I hope you have a great day!
Keep Writing,
Miranda
I like your poem because it is very relatable to many readers. I also like the repetition of the phrase "I'm feeling" because it reinforces the idea of the poem. My interpretation of this poem is someone talking about the feeling of being uncomfortable and something being not quite right. All in all, I think you wrote a really good poem.
Sup, sophiereichelt! It's your girl, Caitlin; coming at you!
I'm here to review your poem.
It was great, and my friend and I have never related to anything more than the second line.
Anyway, in the first two lines, I'm think you meant to say "too" instead of "to."
Write on!
That is a wrap, peace out fellow writers!