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141,395 Literary Works • 674,386 Reviews
Thanks alot! (I followed you too) (:
Okay, I will see if I could fix up the rythmn. What were some lines that you had trouble with? (This goes for anyone btw! )
Hey there! First off I must say that this was a brilliant piece. There was raw emotion in it, the rhyming was beautiful and didn't sound forced. Plus the message is relatable and it is something that many people (including myself) can relate to. As the others said there aren't any errors grammar wise. The only thing that I could suggest is that you could play around with the rhythm. While I was reading some lines I felt like I was tripping over words. That's just a minor thing though. This is still beautifully written. I'm going to like this and follow you now because I can't wait to read more pieces by you. Great work!
-Hope
Thank you both! (:
And to JJxVoodo you can read my poem "My Own Worst Enemy" topic80127.html
It's not exactly the same, but if you are like me then you might be able to relate to this one as well.
Btw- glad to know I'm not the only one like this
Hey, I think that this was very good, sounds like somebody else I know
Me
Spoiler
It was an excelent piece and i would love to read more work like this. Do you have anymore I can read?
Keep writing-good luck
JJxVoodo
beautiful poem!! It's great!
I love the rhyme in it and I especially like this part:
I don't have any criticism really..
nice!!
Thanks alot for the review! Okay, I'll let you know if I need any help. I can review your work as well if you'd like
Hello there.
I love this poem. Really simple, and yet it just envelopes this emotion. I really love the way you are rhyming and the story behind it. there aren't any typos so unfortunately I don't have any things to correct, but if you ever want my help. I review around the clock. keep up the good world
xx Upile xx
Thanks alot for the review and follow! I'm following you now too (:
You did really well on this poem. I didn't notice any grammar mistakes to point out. If there were - I didn't see them.
I'm following you . I hope to see more of your work soon!
Thanks alot for the review!
This is very good!! Good descriptions and the emotion is very vivid. You did a good job with this and I can't wait to read more of your works. I really like the beginning and last part of this poem. May you improve and have many reviews!!! Good luck and keep up the good work!!! Happy Writing!!!
Soulkana<3