Here is another one of my NaPo poems. I changed it a bit. All suggestions and comments are greatly appreciated! 
~
Like a midnight breeze,
She whispers in my ear,
Telling me all the things,
That I don't want to hear.
“They don’t want to talk to you,
They barely know your name,
Wondering why you’re still talking,
You’re only bringing shame.”
Her words are like a faucet,
Turning on my tears,
Slowly letting them escape,
But holding onto my fears.
When I caress confidence,
She hisses in my ear,
Shattering my happiness,
Like a broken mirror.
She makes me feel naive,
And completely insane,
Reminding me, my dreams,
I'll never obtain.
I try to ignoring her words,
But she only screams louder,
Echoing throughout my head,
I can tell she’s feeling prouder.
There are moments when she is silent
And I start to feel at ease,
My confidence begins building,
Only for her to impede.
I wonder when this will end,
So my life can begin,
When will she leave,
And allow me joy within.
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Awe, thanks! (:
Oh really, you should post it. I'd love to read it
Oooh I loooove this!
Kinda reminds me of a poem I wrote a while back. I'll post it here sometime. I love your work though
Nafe X
Aahahah, thank you both!
I really like this (I'm a sucker for rhyming poems!) I liked that the emotion was still strongly present and none of it was lost in the effort to rhyme! It was also a very interesting idea that I'm sure a lot of people can relate too. Great job!!! (:
wow im impressed! when i read the first line i was sucked in
Yeah, I think it definetly is. It sucks..
I'm glad you liked the peom though, thanks alot! (:
i like it a lot!
i think it's every one worst enemy! specially girls!!!
i like your flow and the emotion there very strong!, nice poem you accomplished
Favorite lines
"Her words are like a faucet,
Turning on my tears,
Slowly letting them escape,
But holding onto my fears."....
keep up and update us with more!!!