I had some coins

by shusher, Myself, me

Published March 6, 2019

E - Everyone

In short stories

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"Good job! Now, let me explain how YOU SUCK!!!"

Hey, everybody, and welcome to youngwritersociety.com! I'm your host, voice in your head, and I'm with a guest speaker, your mouth. Today, we'll be reading, "I had some coins," by shusher.... Shusher is a bit of an odd name, I think. Let's see here......
...
... um, description, are you there, buddy?

Huh. Guess not.

I can tell you what it's about. No problem.
*ahem*
The story is a riveting one taking place in the comfort of your own home where the author narrates as a voice inside your head, and showcases it as a sort of entertainment host,

...wait, really? That's it?

Okay, I'm ending this thing here.

Comments & reviews · 8
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Rohit123
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Rohit123 commented Comment · Jul 17, 2021

I think my favorite part was

"Hey, everybody, and welcome to youngwritersociety.com! I'm your host, voice in your head, and I'm with a guest speaker, your mouth. Today, we'll be reading, "I had some coins," by shusher... Shusher is a bit of an odd name, I think. Let's see here......"

I definitely didn't expect this when I clicked on this post.

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trashykawa
Review
trashykawa wrote a review Review · Mar 31, 2019

Hi! So do i dare to review this?

First off, things are a bit unclear. Your tones....mocking? sarcastic? lamenting about bad writing?(which isn't really bad; that would be you criticising yourself too hard)

I think (a rather disfigured 'think') that this poem is about writers' block, or at least, not being able to write what one wishes to actually write (maybe i just defined writer's block, you decide).

If so, it's a really cool, new way to put it! It's not your average, kind-of-funny-if-you-don't-think-about-it-too-much; it's honest and very, very relatable.

This story begins on a negative note - and while it is meant to be fun or humorous, some readers wouldn't really be very flattered is they see a phrase like 'YOU SUCK' as the opener line.

... um, description, are you there, buddy?


This line came out of nowhere - i'm not exactly sure what it's saying, and though the next line makes it clear, it still breaks down my flow of writing.

So great idea; nice style, wonderful formatting (ooh yes, i know the most exotic adjectives :) )

Anyway, have a nice day, and keep writing.

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Dilbert64
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Dilbert64 commented Comment · Mar 18, 2019

This was was strange and disconcerting. But also funny.

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starryknightt
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starryknightt commented Comment · Mar 11, 2019

Hey there!

This was the weirdest yet most amazing thing ever. Lol. Definitely not what I thought it was going to be!

I look forward to reading more of your art.

-M

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OofOof1
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OofOof1 commented Comment · Mar 7, 2019

🐶🐶

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Lib
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Lib commented Comment · Mar 6, 2019

:D
I really like this! The structure is very unique.

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4revgreen
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4revgreen commented Comment · Mar 6, 2019

this actually made me laugh out loud :-) wasn't expecting that when I clicked on your post! This would actually be a good way to get past writers block, in my opinion. Pretty unique idea, to be honest!!
i loved the bit about the guest speaker being your mouth.

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FireSpyGirl
Review
FireSpyGirl wrote a review Review · Mar 6, 2019

Hi there!
This definitely put a smile on my face, thank you for that! I believe my favorite part is this:

"Hey, everybody, and welcome to youngwritersociety.com! I'm your host, voice in your head, and I'm with a guest speaker, your mouth. Today, we'll be reading, "I had some coins," by shusher.... Shusher is a bit of an odd name, I think. Let's see here......"

This right here pretty much says everything about the story and about YWS to, in a way. Looking forward to more from you!



I have my books and my poetry to protect me.
— Paul Simon