"Good job! Now, let me explain how YOU SUCK!!!"
Hey, everybody, and welcome to youngwritersociety.com! I'm your host, voice in your head, and I'm with a guest speaker, your mouth. Today, we'll be reading, "I had some coins," by shusher.... Shusher is a bit of an odd name, I think. Let's see here......
...
... um, description, are you there, buddy?
Huh. Guess not.
I can tell you what it's about. No problem.
*ahem*
The story is a riveting one taking place in the comfort of your own home where the author narrates as a voice inside your head, and showcases it as a sort of entertainment host,
...wait, really? That's it?
Okay, I'm ending this thing here.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,008 Literary Works • 672,830 Reviews
I think my favorite part was
"Hey, everybody, and welcome to youngwritersociety.com! I'm your host, voice in your head, and I'm with a guest speaker, your mouth. Today, we'll be reading, "I had some coins," by shusher... Shusher is a bit of an odd name, I think. Let's see here......"
I definitely didn't expect this when I clicked on this post.
Hi! So do i dare to review this?
First off, things are a bit unclear. Your tones....mocking? sarcastic? lamenting about bad writing?(which isn't really bad; that would be you criticising yourself too hard)
I think (a rather disfigured 'think') that this poem is about writers' block, or at least, not being able to write what one wishes to actually write (maybe i just defined writer's block, you decide).
If so, it's a really cool, new way to put it! It's not your average, kind-of-funny-if-you-don't-think-about-it-too-much; it's honest and very, very relatable.
This story begins on a negative note - and while it is meant to be fun or humorous, some readers wouldn't really be very flattered is they see a phrase like 'YOU SUCK' as the opener line.
This line came out of nowhere - i'm not exactly sure what it's saying, and though the next line makes it clear, it still breaks down my flow of writing.
So great idea; nice style, wonderful formatting (ooh yes, i know the most exotic adjectives
Anyway, have a nice day, and keep writing.
This was was strange and disconcerting. But also funny.
Hey there!
This was the weirdest yet most amazing thing ever. Lol. Definitely not what I thought it was going to be!
I look forward to reading more of your art.
-M
🐶🐶
I really like this! The structure is very unique.
this actually made me laugh out loud
wasn't expecting that when I clicked on your post! This would actually be a good way to get past writers block, in my opinion. Pretty unique idea, to be honest!!
i loved the bit about the guest speaker being your mouth.
Hi there!
This definitely put a smile on my face, thank you for that! I believe my favorite part is this:
"Hey, everybody, and welcome to youngwritersociety.com! I'm your host, voice in your head, and I'm with a guest speaker, your mouth. Today, we'll be reading, "I had some coins," by shusher.... Shusher is a bit of an odd name, I think. Let's see here......"
This right here pretty much says everything about the story and about YWS to, in a way. Looking forward to more from you!