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139,529 Literary Works • 672,599 Reviews
That was sooooo good. I can relate; last year i had writer's block for over four months and i thought i was going to die from all my pent up creativity. And i thought the acrostic was a good idea, definitely different and it ties the whole thing together. Really good language, it flowed well. Overall i'd say it was a pretty fine poem.
Hello shiney1!
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I can see that you've thought about this, you've thought about which words to use so that it fits in with the across-stick and doesn't sound forced. I think that you did very well with fitting the across-stick together and keeping the flow.
However, I do think that the line breaks seems choppy and a little bit sudden. But, I don't know how to fix that as you're writing an across-stick and the if you change the line breaks, then the whole poem would be rendered pointless.
Also, I think a little 'show' would be good as well. At the moment you're telling us everything and I think that this poem can be enhanced if you do a bit more 'show' and less 'tell'. Show us about how no meaningful words fill the paper or something.
Other than that, I think this is quite good really, the sentences flow well, the words you use aren't just randomly chosen, but rather ones that deliver across a strong meaning. And as said before, you've managed to fit it all in brilliantly without killing the flow
Cool, I wrote a poem like that only with "cherry stems" on the side, and I always thought that was a cool challenge. Definitely have to say, whether your writer's block is cured or not, you've at least cured momentarily because this is really good! I get a little sick of poems about writing (we all write them, don't we?) but this one was pretty refreshing. I definitely liked the imagery and personality reflected in it.
Keep writing,
~*StoryWeaver
Whhoooooaaaahhhh. I can totally feel your frustration. This was incredibly creative! I loved it! I think viscous is an unbelievably perfect word for it. Heehee. I think the only critique-y thing I have for you is that I don't think you intended to put an apostrophe before "sentence's outpouring." Love your avatar, by the way, I have a similar: Why is apostrophe such a long word, when the thing is an almost nonexistent mark that most people forget to use anyway?
Loved it. Awesom-saucy job.