I thought I'd be traveling the world
At the age of 17
San Francisco, Manhattan, Colorado, Rome, France
Escaping my woes and living on dollar bills
and copper coins filling jars labeled
with the years I would travel
and the destinations I had in mind.
...
I thought my hair would be long
and they'd call me Free Spirit
I'd experiment with drugs and people
and those Unknown wouldn't understand my life
talking and learning and breathing and loving
They'd say I was wasting it
A juvenile, a delinquent.
...
They'd question my age
But I'd laugh and I'd squeal
And spend my time with those who didn't care
I'd call that place home
Until they started to take an interest in me
The parties would start dwindling
I'd flee.
...
I'd point on the map
Roadtrip there for days
Buy food at twenty-four hour diners
with the coins from pocket-change
I'd live on coffee and cigarettes
And the waitresses would look concerned
ask if I want to call home
But would walk away after I said no.
...
I thought I'd be a hopeless cause
Meandering the country, at least
I would be in a living dream
Reality would escape me
And I would escape it
In a broken down car and a trunk full of dirty clothes
...
I thought I'd go to a laundromat
Get advice from the drifters there
Who watch the machines spin for hours
until everyone leaves
and they can create beds out of chairs
The room warm from the dryers.
...
I'd thought I'd go to the coast
Drown my regrets in the sea
Where the wind carries the sand
and maybe carry me back home
...
But by then I'd be so dazzled
From the places I'd have been
I wouldn't remember the end, the start, where did I begin?
And then I'd be a truly hopeless wanderer
And my soul would be lost
But I'd open up another pack of cigarettes
Nowhere is the Where I belong.
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125,010 Literary Works • 672,839 Reviews
Hello, I am here to review your awesome poem about travel, truly I think it is very unique. Right off the bat, I am just hit the grammar situation, I am not sure if you purposely used no grammar, but I think it could benefit from it. It would make it easier to read, although I had no trouble, it would just make it easier and effortless. Although moving on to the actually words of the poem, it was phenomenal. Like seriously I was quite amazed, it was well written, and I felt like I was reading a story. You started off strong and you finished it strong, you had me captivated at every moment while reading it. I don't have anything negative to say about it. The only thing I would say is write more, so I can read them and be amazed. Great job and keep it up.
-Hsarver
Hi there, so the title of your poem has drawn my attention to read it. I start with the ideas which you give in every stanzas. In the first stanza, you say that you want to travel to every countries to escape the financial burden as well as other problems.
How I love this part
Then in the second stanza, all of a sudden you're talking about something dubious which I'm not sure if a traveler must have thought so. The rest I like the way you give the impression of 'traveler' is for you, with your own ways of thinking. It is an irony that you are trying to say behind your words give the poem. Overall, really nice poem to read. Keep writing!
Kudos, cheers