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E - Everyone Violence

A poem for who insults fools !!! So don't insult others !!!!!!!!

by sayantan4119


Protest of the fools!!!!!!

All, all,just left all your work;

As if you’ll don’t have any work

No-one is a fool !!!

Come on!!! Don’t make anyone fool -

You’ll don’t obey any rule to make someone fool ;

You’ll just don’t make any mistake to make someone fool.

No-one is always fool and dull.

Still though they have the same meat and skull; like you all –

So why you all call a fool – A fool ?

No-one is a fool.

Don’t you know dulls are more innocent than smarters.

But then,don’t you know fools have to bear insults as because they are fools .Why?

Come on!!! Don’t make anyone fool for fun.

These dulls will must take revenge one day –

When they will have full of knowledge filled in their dull heads.

Thinking fool – A fool – is the real work of a fool.

A realsmart guy can never underestimate a person who is told fool by others.

A realsmart guy is the guy who will rectify a fool, thinking him to be a friend.

Dulls and fools are always told by others, that they’re dull –

But they always accept the insult – “Wisely “.

         ( Morale : Don't insult anyone and try to keep yourself cool )


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1210 Reviews


Points: 29861
Reviews: 1210

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Tue Mar 01, 2016 1:02 am
niteowl wrote a review...



Hi there sayantan4119! Niteowl here to review this.

Overall, I feel like this piece is trying to hit us over the head with its message: don't insult others who you perceive as fools. That's not necessarily a bad thing...after all, plenty of stories and poems have a moral message to them.

However, I feel like the piece is just telling us this, and aside from some rhyme here and there, doesn't feel very poetic at all. Personally, if I was writing something with a message, I'd try to make a story out of it. Maybe I'd make characters to represent the smart man, the fool, and the insulter. Or maybe I'd use metaphors and similes to make the wording more interesting. Probably a mix of both.

Speaking of word choice, I would consider not using the word "fool" so much. Repetition can be a poetic device, but here it becomes overbearing.

Lastly, I agree with previous reviewers that you have some weird spacing. Generally, you shouldn't have a space between the word and the punctuation mark.

Overall, this is a good message, but I think it could be expressed in a more creative and poetic way if you worked on it. Keep writing! :D




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271 Reviews


Points: 408
Reviews: 271

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Mon Feb 29, 2016 1:37 pm
Charm wrote a review...



Hey! I'm here to review your poem!

I've noticed that you are having a problem with spaces. You either are missing one or having one where you don't need one.

"No-one is a fool !!!"
"No one is a fool!"

I feel like the repetition of the word "fool" isn't working for this poem.

"Come on!!! Don’t make anyone fool -"
This line does not make sense

"Thinking fool – A fool – is the real work of a fool."
"Thinking fool" doesn't make sense either

The ending of the poem wasn't as strong as I thought it could be and I would recommend reading this out loud to help with the punctuation errors.


I hope this was helpful,
Rachel





And on the pedestal these words appear:/'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings;/Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'/Nothing beside remains.
— Percy Bysshe Shelley