Strawberry Hearts -6-

Dear Evelyn,

You never said goodbye. Is that why it was so hard for me to accept that you're not only gone from my life, but that you're out there living a life that no longer includes me? I don't know if you've noticed, but no one says goodbye anymore, Evie. They just leave with a "see you later!", and you never see them again.

I should be over the fact that you were one of those people, but I'm not. How you left is forever ingrained in my memory, and I don't think its a scar that will ever fade. No matter how bright the sun, or how clear the sky, no matter where I am ,or who I am with, everything seems clouded by the absence of you.It's like I can feel you forgetting me, although I can't decide it its actually me forgetting you, and that's what's making me feel so woebegone these days. Do you remember when that was you're favourite word? You loved it because by saying you were sad you were also telling the sadness to bugger off and leave you alone.

woebegone.

woebegone.

woebegone.

I just don't understand how you can stand next to someone you have so much history with, and not say a thing to them. Not even something so simple as goodbye.

Enough about farewells. Do you know why I'm writing you these letters Evie? It's because I... I need this. I need to find out where we stopped being friends. I can feel it somewhere in my mind, this knowledge, but it's buried deep, down at the bottom of my soul, with every secret I've ever attempted to keep.

Do you remember Mrs Darrison, the little old woman who owned the apartment above the cafe? There's something I never told you about her. One day, when you couldn't make it into town, there was nowhere I fancied going on my own. So I went to the cafe. It must've been later than I remember, because it was shut, and I had to use the spare key to get in through the back.

I had just sat down with a hot chocolate and a left over blueberry muffin when I heard her trudge down the steps. She was in her dressing gown and slippers when she came inside, and seeing me, she offered a gentle smile, and came over to the couch, your couch. She sat down, not saying anything.

She stood up again, "I'll just make some tea, dear"

I smiled in reply as she headed towards the miniature kitchen. Silence lingered between the two of us, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was peaceful. The sort of silence I had with you, Evie. I found my eyes wandering the empty cafe, absorbing all the little details, and realising it was the first time I had ever come without you. Then I noticed the envelope sitting on your couch. It hadn't been there when I'd came in, so I assumed it must have fallen out of Mrs Darrison's pocket when she sat down.

I glanced towards the kitchen, seeing that Mrs Darrison was still busy preparing tea, I let my curiosity take advantage of me. There was a picture inside. It was clearly old, coloured in black and white with a Polaroid frame. In lopsided writing, the frame was labelled: I & E, Christmas Day, 1968.

Two girls smiled in the captured memory. Sitting in the cafe, in our spot, with presents on their laps, it was easy too see why they were so happy. One girl wasn't looking at the camera, but I couldn't help but gasp when I saw the girl who was. She looked like you, Evie. Exactly like you.

Dropping the picture, I rose from my seat and left without a glance.

I could hear Mrs Darrison calling after me as I headed down the street, but I didn't stop.

I didn't dare pay my train fare with a note that night. If I had, I would have had to open my purse and I didn't want to do that. Why? Because they're was a tiny coloured Polaroid of us inside, Evie, with a frame labeled :

I & E, Christmas Day, 2008.

Love

          Ida