The one I'm supposed to know so well
just know I can never say farewell.
With skin the essence of sweet caramel
and grace that has no parallel.
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Sweet purple veins spread like spider web;
splashes of freckles, a sprinkling of sand.
Simple scars that appeared unplanned
All emblazoned on that soft forehand.
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141,610 Literary Works • 675,141 Reviews
hi rubykae!
i like your poem because you have a great choice of words and similes. you make your hand beautiful in a very different way. it is not like we magnify our hands everyday. i also feel like underneath this a person might say that you are trying to convey the beauty in things that we usually take for granted. or the beauty in things that we fail to see.
your comparisons with color and things like freckles, scars makes excellent visual imagery. there is a contrast when you associate the freckles and scars with the beauty of your hand because most people will comp,lain about such things.
All in all your poem's simplicity and depth gave a lot to ponder upon.
Keep up the good work!!!
Hi rubykae, Felistia here with a review on your poem.
I really like that you made a hand so pretty, it is quite a original poem in my eyes. You introduced a lot of colours and made the poem nice and interesting to read.
I do have one nit-pick though. In line six I am not sure what you meant be a sprinkling of sand. Did the hand have sand on it or did you mean that the freckle were like sand?
The over all poem is really nice to read and the final line really sums up the entire poem well. You punctuation seems to be alright, but then again I am not very good when it comes to punctuation mistakes. Well done and I look forward to your next work. I hope you have a great day\night.
Hey this is ElephantGirl here giving you your review
I am in awe with how well your flow was, as well as your rhyming. Also I loved the idea behind this. But I wish you could have gone into a little bit more detail about why you had to say farewell and maybe more about your dear that you're writing about. But amazing imagery, and amazing structure. Absolutely beautiful! Great Job