An Ode to Food and My Lust for Its Taste

Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. I would like to begin on how everyone could relate to this poem since we all love food and have smelled food from almost every where we go in life. Plus how you use imagery to make the reader (like myself) hungry! or how the food might smell like the sizzling bacon on the stove or the pie in the oven, ready to be taken out of the oven.

Throughout the time i have seen poems and write these wonderful reviews that everyone sees and I insist on helping people on these poems (like this one), i believe that poem, from what I read from the reviews below, that you might have fixed all of the mistakes/corrections in here that i don't think there are any mistakes as it is. But there is one nitpick i have, that would be It is blueberry. maybe should have said it as blue berry pie instead of leaving like that in the wide open.

Through and through, this poem is well-written with imagery (making everyone hungry by the second) also how in the beginning, you used a hook to bring the audience closer to this poem or want them to read on from what you have wrote.

Farewell,
CapitalMonday

My dearest friend rissy,
I am doing this for both our benefits. So I can receive review points and so you may gain publicity. (that's pretty much what this is about anyway, right?
Note that I will most likely begin rambling uselessly in a second here.
So.
I find it kinda funny that you're sitting next to me in study hall and just glanced over my shoulder.
This poem makes me want bacon. Which is good. Your poem is about bacon and how much you love it. So that must mean you used good description.
I personally adored the line "in the oven of glory"
Laughed super hard.
Whacha gonna post next, huh? Your newest story idea? Or dreamthieves? We should write something together.
Which reminds me I should write some of my thing about Alexander and Cassandra...
Oh, wait. My computer's broken.
Smoothies taste good.
See, now I'm thinking all about food. Thanks.
Your poem has clearly made an implant on my soul.
Trying to make this loooooong.......
Is this cheating the system? Will I be kicked off YWS for this? XD I'm 'terribly sorry, I am in dire need of points right now. I'd love to begin posting my ideas for my new work, but I don't want to finish it until I've become a psychologist which will be years in the future...
How have you been, rissy? how's the writing? message me on here sometime. start a convo. we'll start a strand or thread or whatever it is they call it.
bro.
you are my bestie.
we might go to the pumpkin patch tonight. we should hang out. as con bro chill once said.
*fist bump*
so bored.
don't turn me in for this review....I did give you positives....
you should review my stuffs...because i appreciate your opinions...and stuff......
goodbye, my friend...
I will see you on the other side......
*fades into shadows*

Hey rissymay! Writer here to give a quick review ^^
Let's "dig" right in, shall we? okay I love food, so there are gonna be puns

I feel the bacon on my tongue

The grease flows down my throat

It quenches my growing hunger.

But- what else can I consume?

Like a raging fire...

Wait- what is that I smell?

The sweet aroma of the baking pie

In the oven of glory

I look, and see it

Bubbling blue.

It is blueberry.

The timer dings, and I remove the pie

From its warm, cozy bed.

I love food.

Hey Rissymay and Nightflyer!

Love the concept for this poem (if you can't already tell, I also love food :3) The way that the poem is laid out, we're sort of replaying minute-by-minute the speaker's sense for food, first the tongue and the sensation of grease down the throat, then a quench of the hunger -- no, just kidding~ the smell of pie reawakens that hunger and the poem ends with a reaffirmation (I love food), which makes the idea of the poem center around the reason as to why the speaker loves food by reliving that experience of being around it. Awesome.

I like this structure and what it is doing for the piece, I think where it can be improved is on the content. The choices the speaker goes on to describe such as the bacon and the pie, besides the smell of the pie (sweet aroma) and the look of it (bubbling blue) there's not much depth or originality to how the food is described. Flowers can also have a sweet aroma, and yet the sweet aroma of a pie is markedly different, no? I think part of the difficulty of poetry is trying to hone down to the specificity of a subject or image. You almost have to get rid of all vague words and be as precise as the pinpoint of a needle.

I'm picking on the pie descriptors on purpose. With bacon, your descriptors here actually serve a purpose. For example, a grease that "flows" down the throat is an alarming description. Grease doesn't exactly flow, after all. Flowing is more like water, water fountains, water falls. And to imagine the grease from your bacon flowing out of it, I would be very frightened of the speaker's health o.o Lol, basically, it's not very realistic of grease, but that's okay! That's part of being dramatic and poetic, because you're choosing words that show something about your speaker. The fact that grease is likened to water, it shows the reader how vital it is. We can make the interpretation that bacon is as much of a "need", as much of a "thirst-quencher" to the speaker as water is. The unusual and the specific actually is what makes the bacon part of the poem interesting, whereas the descriptors for the pie are rather dull.

In the oven of glory