When The Trees Guided Me Home - Part 1

Heya, priceofwords! I love your username, you should turn it into a poem.

my sister sent me into the forest that surrounded our simple little cottage
'Simple' isn't really needed here. If you're wanting to be more descriptive, you could write a couple of sentences on what it actually looks like. I'm sure that you have a different idea of what 'simple' means than I do, so it's just not necessary.

‘Now, you’ve got your sandwiches? ‘she’d ask each morning, buttoning up my little brown coat.
Your second speech mark is in the wrong spot.

Sometimes, she’d walk me to the forests edge
Forest's

At some point she would disentablge herself and gently nudge me
She alaways made herself turn away.
Just check the spelling in these sentences.

I like the way you've written this, it's simple and easy to understand, but sort of magical as well. You've got me really interested in what's special about these trees; I'll definitely continue reading this story.

Though some people might not like the small paragraphs and the breaks inbetween, I do. It makes each part of your character's life seem like a breath. One breath, pause, another breath, pause. It creates a calm before the storm.

Thanks for writing!

I like it!

Hello priceofwords!

I think this was really good, and I'm looking forwards to reading more of this. I especially like the way you portrayed the characters, especially the one that is telling the story. But there are, however, a few typos that could easily be corrected.

she would disentablge herself

She alaways made herself turn away.

I think Nicol got all of your errors already, hahaha! Also, I see you got a little excited at some points and forgot your spaces. Never forget your spaces.

Overall, fantastic work. I could go on and on about how you could make this some sort of series, but I'm not going to. Just keep up your current good work, and everything'll be fine.

Have a fanciful, fantastic, fruit-loopy day!

Hi,
I'm saving now you from the treachery of the green room!

Red would have something to say about the words/sentences.

Anyway, I would love to go one paragraph by one paragraph:

First Paragraph

Upon turning six, my sister sent me into *the forest that surrounded our **simple little cottage. I would be roused from sleep ***when the Sun had begun its first tentative steps into the sky. Sometimes she’d be resorted ****to tickling me *****until; with a resounding thump and much laughter left to spring free, I’d topple out of bed.

*

It was all part of her favourite game. A sort of hide and seek, except our Mother was *always the seeker. **She’d never find me, but I ***suppose this is because Ella always made it so. Even then, I knew she was my protector. ****My knight in shining armour.

‘Now, *you’ve got your sandwiches? **‘she’d ask each morning ***, buttoning up my little brown coat. I’d nod, ****blinking back tears and wishing I could stay. *****Though only four I wasn’t stupid. I knew this game made me safe, ******kept me out of harm’s way whilst my sister bore the brunt of our Mother's wrath.

Sometimes, she’d walk me to the forests edge, *long white fingers entwined around mine. She’d embrace me before she left and I’d cling on, because I was fragile and **she was fragile and we needed each other.***‘Come with me?’ I always asked, and each time she shook her head regretfully, though I was never discouraged from asking again the next day.

At some *point she would disentablge herself and gently nudge me towards the sanctuary of the thicket.

She *alaways made herself turn away. The pain of leaving me was visible in the depths of her eyes, and **I’d often wish into them, silently wishing her to stay. I’d watch her go until she was merely a dot, a tiny white form in a nightdress gliding back home.

And when her form had left my sight, when the wind died, when the trees were reduced to the softest of whispers, that was when I would wait for *him to appear.

A beautiful work this was, you wrought a majestic and mysterious world. Though not entirely describing it for us, that was how it left me felling.

Hey there priceofwords, Adel here to give a review!
A beautiful work this was, you wrought a majestic and mysterious world. Though not entirely describing it for us, that was how it left me felling. I really want to read more of this, I am curious to find out who he is. Though not perfect, I did catch a few mistakes.
When the chapters speak you did not use quotation marks.
Other than that it was very good work, keep it up!