Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
I love the warmth,
That seeps through my body,
when I press you close to me,
It's like I'm disembodied.
I yearn for your touch,
That causes me pain,
A release from reality,
I can no longer contain.
I often wonder,
Why & how do you please me so?
Yes, I love this,
Empty feeling, free flow.
How does it end?
Why can't I stop thinking of you?
You're the worst best thing for me,
How to give you up? I have no clue.
I'm completely convinced,
There is only one way to set you free,
I'm afraid there is no happy ending,
You shall become the death of me.
'Cause I'm addicted to your pain,
Your shinny outer surface,
Your just so sharp headed,
Your cutting edge I embrace.
I no longer feel,
This is my life,
I'm a cutter,
I'm addicted to the knife.
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140,159 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
You've been doing some really good work here since you've started. I like the way you worded this poem to flow in a way that really captures the idea. There are a few things I noticed:
One, a small typo in the word "shinny", which is actually "shiny".
Two: Line three of the second to last stanza "Your just so sharp headed". Didn't quite make sense to me. Maybe it's just the wording.
Three: The last stanza doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem, but more with the ideas of your other poems. I feel like the line "I'm a cutter" could be revised, maybe find a synonym for "cutter" to help make it flow more smoothly.
Beep-beep, that's all folks!
Hello again 'Tato (I can stop calling you that if you want, not a problem).
You ever just read something that is actually super close to you, but you read it and just feel super distant from it. Like it's just words.. Hello, Autopilot coming at you from my current pit of dissociation (again), please have patience!
So yeah. I don't usually write about this because it ends up indirectly putting my in a negative head space, almost like a trigger in disguise; but we're going to try and avoid that today. This should be fun. Now lets review!
I realize now after reading all four of your published works, that the space between the first line and the three following it is just as much a part of your formatting as your four verse stanzas are. I like it. I like your formatting overall, you are one hundred percent consistent with capitalizing he first letter of each verse, that's good. I know how easy it is to forget to do that, and then you end up with an unintentional, sloppy looking mix of upper- and lowercase first letters. Punctuation doesn't always find its place in poetry, but you use it perfectly. You use it in a way that really enhances your words.
As always, my heart is an open door, an my ears are always ready to listen. If you need a hand, some motivation, or just a good listener to vent to, who also knows what this is like; just dm me. I'm almost always available, and even if I'm not on, send me a private message and it'll show up in my regular email.
Great job and keep on writing,
Autopilot
@AutoPilot you can call me 'Tato! It's become my call sign on here. It's what I say after every review. Thanks for the idea! <3 'Tato
I'm in tears again! I know how you are feeling, but please stop! You are scaring me! I care about you, I don't want to lose a friend! This is a good poem though.