This is really rough and I need a lot of help with it! Thanks in advance!
Dig, dig, dig,
below the surface you go.
Down, down, down,
Delve into to roots so deep.
Follow these paths,
you shall find,
this ever growing tree,
has a foundation so complete.
The shallowest part,
easiest to see,
broken with many a wound.
From tooth and ax,
beak and claw;
all still trying to heal.
Force yourself farther down,
you soon will find,
the thick, scarred roots,
each of which branches into five.
These spread even more as you descend,
until at the ends,
are tiny hairs,
taking in the elements,
for the good of the tree.
This a small reminder,
of the beginning of it all.
It was of the least,
a small, insignificant seed.
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139,539 Literary Works • 672,604 Reviews
I like you're unique writting style. Only thin i would change is there are no periods at the ends of most of you're sentances, and that you should have lower and uppercase beginings to each line, not just uppercase. Other than my nit-picks it was very well done.
Thank you, SciFiGirl. That actually really helped and I think I fixed it.
Hey.
I myself am not the best poetry writer so I am most likely going to wrong about some things but, I hope this helps.
I thought this piece was really good. The message was somewhat clear. (You did have to dig a little to find the meaning.) I also thought that the rhythm was a little Rocky in places.
For example, I thought that this part was Rocky...
'Easiest to see,
Is broken with many a wound.
From tooth and ax,'
The part 'Is broken with many a wound.' is just a word or two too long. If you shortened it by one or two words it would probably solve this problem.
That's just what I think. I wouldn't be surprised if I was wrong.
wow, thank you!
Wow!
Definately a star!
This had an energy that was almost chaotic yet very structured.
The descriptive language and suggestion to the reader and or poem's intended target was very well done, kept my attention throughout.
I only found a few flaws in progression and beat, but hey I can forgive it.
Very well done, good job!
Exe's and Oh's Eraqio.