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Young Writers Society



The Land of Books

by nwakaemechinonso12, nwakaemechinonso12


Idele people cannot fathom the whereabout of their own – the son of their hero; it is now three years after Omini had left the village. Kachi his mother has never stopped mourning for him, women of idele come time after time to console her and give her sense of hope.

One morning Kachi was busy preparing lunch, she is preparing Egwusi soup with vegetable; she was slicing the vegetable when she heard a strange noise inside the hut. She was gripped with fear but she swallow the fear to know the cause of the noise; when got the spot, she couldn’t signal anything, as she was about to turn back the book in the library started falling down from where it was kept.

She was scared at first but moved closer and start rearranging the book to the normal position it ought to be. As she was arranging the book, she article written by his husband when he was alive.

She opened the book and read, the content of the article explain so many thing to her. In the article Daila convince the reader to be hopeful of a new beginning and inform the person through the article to expect the best.

The words from that article change Kachi thinking; she stop cooking and spread the information to idele people, she organise a seminar for all the villagers where she reads the content of the articles and explain further the meaning.

People who knew how she had been grieving over his missing son were happy that she has now found hope and peace. They rejoice with her and thank the God’s for making it possible.

At the desert Omini was lying down on the floor with the book on his chest as he was in a very deep sleep – he had a dream where he was sitting down with three old men, one of the old man happens to be his father – in that dream Omini curiosity led him into asking the reason for the book, the oldest man among the three who was the writer of the ancient book commended Omini for going that far to protect the book, he was encourage to continue reading. In that dream a lot of secrets were revealed to him and what he must do to bring liberation to his people.

Omini woke up with great fear; he holds the book jealously and starts reading, as he reads the book; he takes note of every information by highlighting them.

adapted from HIDDEN IN A BOOK

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48 Reviews

Points: 1740
Reviews: 48

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Wed Jun 29, 2016 3:01 am
Ashley123 wrote a review...



I thought that this was a good start to an interesting story. But honestly I had no idea what this was really about. It was very confusing with the random uses of tenses that made the whole story kind of all over the place. This piece has a lot of potential, but has a lot of mistakes especially in punctuation and the time tenses. Now I may sound like I'm coming off as though I am judging this story too harshly, but I assure you that I am not. I really do like this story, but like everything else in life, writing always has plenty of room for aprovement. Now I hope that this review helps you with your writing skills, so here it goes.

"Kachi his mother has never stopped mourning for him, women of idele come time after time to console her and give her sense of hope." This sentence only has a very small and minor mistake. Now here I would just add a period after "Kachi", so that it makes more sense. So the ending result would be, "Kachi, his mother, has never stopped mourning for him, women of idele come time after time to console her and give her sense of hope." Just so that the readers know that the readers know for sure that Kachi is "Omini's" mother.

"she is preparing Egwusi soup with vegetable; she was slicing the vegetable when she heard a strange noise inside the hut." Here I got mixed up with past and present tenses. In the beginning where you said, "she prepared Egwisi soup with vegetables; she sliced the vegetables, but soon heard a strange noise inside the hut." By saying it like this it just makes the sentence make so much more sense.

"She was gripped with fear but she swallow the fear to know the cause of the noise; when got the spot, she couldn’t signal anything, as she was about to turn back the book in the library started falling down from where it was kept." This is not only a sentence that has problems with tenses, but it is also a run on sentence. Instead the sentence should sound like: "She was gripped with fear but she swallow the fear to know the cause of the noise. When she got to the spot, she couldn’t signal anything, as she was about to turn back the book in the library started falling down from where it was kept." This just makes so much more sense. Now I have many more suggestions but I just don't have time. I really do like this story. Please review some of my work, I would really like it. Keep writing and never stop.




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57 Reviews

Points: 7986
Reviews: 57

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Tue Jun 28, 2016 4:49 pm
Soulfulwriter wrote a review...



Hello, I am Soulfulwriter here to just kind of nitpick at your writing.

She was gripped with fear but she swallow the fear to know the cause of the noise; when got the spot, she couldn’t signal anything, as she was about to turn back the book in the library started falling down from where it was kept. (I believe this is a run on. A period somewhere would help.)

I am not too sure on the tense of the story. You jump from present to past. (Just read out loud)

If Idele is a place, please capitalize it "Idele come time"

She (saw an ) article.

When (she) got (to ) the spot.

As she was arranging the book(s).

Just a few comma in some places, I am not sure where the story is going but I think it has a good start. It just needs to be cleaned up a little. I use this thing called Grammarly to help with certain errors and such.

-Good luck. Keep writing the right way.





they got that magical iridescence that you don't expect to be on a sky rat y'know
— Ari11