The family tree of josephs’ is built on love. The wife and children are good supporter of the family setting. Joseph and his wife Patricia are good role models to their children moral, social, academic and spiritual life. Sam and Janet are great gift to them; they love their children so much that they can sacrifice time, talent and treasure to see that they are exceptional.
Joseph and his beautiful wife are educated; Joseph work as a driver in a reputable company in Lagos Nigeria while Patricia is a trained nurse who currently works with “THE HEALERS HOSPITAL” they are not rich but they are comfortable -both of them are lover of book. They update the library with books.
Their love for book ignite them to set up a library for their children; they also create time every month to engage their children to reading which Sam manage to participate because he hate reading.
Janet started reading when she was four year old; reading is what gives her joy – she can read for 3 hours on a stretch without getting tired.
When she comes back from school Monday to Friday she revise what she was taught in school and note down what she did not understand for questions the next day at school.
Sam on the other hand has no passion for reading due to his love for football; he spends more of his time on playing football with his friends.
Janet was one of the most prettiest and beautiful young girl in the entire school; she has a round face. Her light in complexion color is astonishing and glamorous; she was carefully and well arranged the creator of mankind. Whenever she walks she does it like a cat. Her legs were straight and smooth just like a goddess.
The reading competition organizes by Readers and Leaders network is here again; it is time for all schools to prepare their students for the reading competition.
The reading competition exists to discover and develop student reading culture it has existed for some years now. During this period school engage their students into reading lesson and chose the best readers to represent their school for the contest.
Janet’s school has never won the reading content since the inception of the school. The Confidence College a school 5km away from Information Givers Academy has won it twice in a roll.
Three days later, all the twenty schools meet in the competition centre at one of the big hall in the capital city of Lagos. A large crowd were sitting down listening to the tall and handsome moderator calling on each representative of schools to sit in a special sit by the side of the stage; the panels of judges were sitting on the right hand side of the stage.
One after the other the school representatives from the twenty schools read aloud to the audience, Janet was the last to speed read as the judge writes on a black file in front of them.
The contest was really a challenging experience for the students that participated. At the end of the contest, the result was ready to be announced but before that The chief judge invited the students in front of the stage and shakes their hands.
You all did a good work. Please clap for yourself , he demanded
All the students on the stage clapped their hands
I am so happy that I witnessreaders like you all but Janet a student from Information Givers Academy impress me the more; she is such a good reader. He testified.
All the audience clap their hands in agreement with the chief judge commendation.
Finally the result was announced; Janet school took the first position, Queens College took the second position and Confidence College took the third position.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Hey there and Welcome to YWS. It's just Lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.
So first off, I don't agree with the placing of the the picture. In fact, I don't think authors should try and put pictures in at all. If you are going to use a little cartoon and speech bubble, make sure the spelling and grammar is correct.
- I don't agree with the semicolon in the way you used it. I think it would be better to just use a comma.
-"One" I really hope that was meant to be "On" other wise it makes zero sense.
Second, get rid of all the bold. The entire story is in bold text and is extremely annoying. Bold is used in exact places to grab attention but here it's just a bother. It's almost like using all caps in text messages, it's nearly screaming.
Third, there are a lot of mistakes that fall under grammar and spelling. I would write them down here but I'm on mobile today. I agree with the previous reviewer in that you should definitely run this through some grammar/spell check software.
Almost all of the sentences in this piece are set up funky. They don't flow together very well and the story takes awhile to read through. I think what messed me up the most, was all of the semi colons. Mostly you see maybe 20 semi colons in a medium length book but in this story I'm seeing them every 3 sentences. That has to be changed around a bit. There were some sentences that you connected, that I think would have been better left alone. You didn't necessarily have run ons because they were correct but they were super long sentences to read.
There were also some parts that I was unsure of. Many times I thought I had come across a line of dialogue but there was nothing to mark it as dialogue. Please fix this parts. Otherwise it gets confusing. These parts read like switching from third person to first person narrator.
You also had some parts that were pretty much an info dump and that made the piece boring. Overall it was hard to get through because of all of the grammar mistakes and that there seemed to be nothing unique about the story. There was nothing there to grab my attention.
Anyways, I have to get going. Good luck to you on future projects.
Have a nice day.
Lizzy
The Queen of the Book Clubs
Hello there and welcome to YWS! I'm Artemis28 and I'm giving you a quick review.
Shall we begin?
So I noticed in your first sentence that "Josephs'" is not capitalized--and it should be. And there are some words missing an s, like "supporter," "children," and "gifts." But I like your first paragraph, since it gives a good description of the family as a whole.
"The family tree of josephs’ is built on love. The wife and children are good supporter of the family setting. Joseph and his wife Patricia are good role models to their children moral, social, academic and spiritual life. Sam and Janet are great gift to them; they love their children so much that they can sacrifice time, talent and treasure to see that they are exceptional."
Again in the second paragraph, the letter s is missing. The words that are in want of an s are as follows: "work," "lover," and "book." Also, you need a period after "hospital. And that space before the dash is unnecessary, but I'm not sure whether that was intentional.
"Joseph and his beautiful wife are educated; Joseph work as a driver in a reputable company in Lagos Nigeria while Patricia is a trained nurse who currently works with “THE HEALERS HOSPITAL” they are not rich but they are comfortable -both of them are lover of book. They update the library with books."
It appears that you left out quotation marks where they should be; please add them back in. When the judge is talking, please add them in.
This story overall is really quite a bit choppy. You give us an overload of information by describing Janet. I'd rather you show, not tell--say something about the color of her hair as it swung into her face while she was reading, or maybe how her (color) eyes skimmed the page. Do you see what I mean? Showing is an important skill in writing.
And after you describe Janet we just switch to the topic of a reading contest without warning. Try to make the transition smoother, because the switch is extremely sudden.
This piece also has a lot of grammatical errors, which I suggest putting through Microsoft Word or a site like Grammarly to fix. But the idea is great and your description is really beneficial to the eye. I hope you have a good time on YWS and that you improve from your time here!
XOX,
Artemis28
i carefully composed this story.
Joseph and his beautiful wife are educated; Joseph work as a driver in a reputable company in Lagos Nigeria while Patricia is a trained nurse who currently works with “THE HEALERS HOSPITAL” they are not rich but they are comfortable -both of them are lover of book. They update the library with books.
Their love for book ignite them to set up a library for their children; they also create time every month to engage their children to reading which Sam manage to participate because he hate reading.
Janet started reading when she was four year old; reading is what gives her joy – she can read for 3 hours on a stretch without getting tired.
When she comes back from school Monday to Friday she revise what she was taught in school and note down what she did not understand for questions the next day at school.
Sam on the other hand has no passion for reading due to his love for football; he spends more of his time on playing football with his friends.
Janet was one of the most prettiest and beautiful young girl in the entire school; she has a round face. Her light in complexion color is astonishing and glamorous; she was carefully and well arranged the creator of mankind. Whenever she walks she does it like a cat. Her legs were straight and smooth just like a goddess.
The reading competition organizes by Readers and Leaders network is here again; it is time for all schools to prepare their students for the reading competition.
The reading competition exists to discover and develop student reading culture it has existed for some years now. During this period school engage their students into reading lesson and chose the best readers to represent their school for the contest.
Janet’s school has never won the reading content since the inception of the school. The Confidence College a school 5km away from Information Givers Academy has won it twice in a roll.
pls review my work