"I wouldn't want you"

Hello there!!

I absolutely loved your poem! It showed hints of images that keep replaying inside of my mind. I, for one, love to write about the topic you chose as well. You did an amazing job with the way you chose to express every picture you had in your mind. I liked how you divided your poem into stanzas.

For suggestions, you may furthermore strengthen the images you had in mind through word choice. If you want, you can also improve the rhyme. Nonetheless, I loved every minute of reading your piece. I am looking forward to reading more! Happy writing

Hi! First of all, this person sounds horrible! I'm sorry you had to deal with them.

Secondly, I can tell this poem was used as a way to vent and that's brilliant. Using poetry to get your feelings out really helps me too!

This poem felt very raw and honest. I think if you were to rewrite this poem without the rhyming, or at least the simple rhyming, it would be far stronger. Also if you removed the sun symbols in between stanzas it would make the poem feel less juvenile if you don't mind me saying so. (I also read the review below and I'm kind of commenting on that as well)

All in all, this poem has good potential! Keep writing! Thanks for sharing

I think it is time we sat down and had a chat. I am KQK and I am an honest reviewer.

First of all, I am sorry for whatever pain you may be going through as a result of what is probably the end of your relationship. Second of all, take this poem as an action plan. Poetry and the written word is a good form of catharsis, but if you do nothing with it, it may as well have stayed in your mind. Sounds to me that this person was not nice to begin with, but then again what would I know about your relationship?

Seeing how this is the Young Writers Society, and the collective viewership places one's writing up for judgement, bare in mind that this will not be an attack on your personal life or your thought process. This is a review of your work like any other.

Your work is fairly juvenile. Basic rhymes, cliché lines which pine for affection, clunky schemes, and a fairly generic subject matter combine together here. As a result, I lose my interest quickly. Shame, because I have read your other material and quite liked what you had. Unfortunately, I cannot find much in this poem.

What I do admire is the fact that you wrote this work as a form of relief. As someone who has experienced being screwed over by others, I can understand your feelings. However, as a poem it is not that good. Keep writing, and don't dwell on people not worth your time.