My Tish-er-TITLE

by null25

Published May 14, 2014

E - Everyone

In Poetry

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I am TITLELESS now.

I have no history.

I just started new.

Where am I?

This is all coming at once.

Hasty writing.

This experience is frightening.

Wishing Tish was here.

Why is she not real?

She may be a monster.

But I need her.

She is mine.

She is not truly evil.

She is capable of LOVE.

She is my TITLE.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Sherri
Review
Sherri wrote a review Review · May 14, 2014

Hi null, this is Sherri! Welcome to YWS :)
The title was interesting, and is part of the reason a clicked on the poem! I liked the idea of the poem, but I was still slightly confused by the end. All I gathered was that there was something/someone new that needed a title, and then there was Tish (a person, I think...?) who became that person/thing's title. If I got any of that wrong, please let me know.
I have basically the same nitpicks as GrapeNerd; each line in your poem is a sentence, and that makes the poem flow a little blocky. I don't know if that makes sense, but there isn't really a better way to explain it. I think if you added variety in punctuation and line structure, this would flow better.
I also suggest adding a bit more detail as of to what/who Trish is and what/who this poem is about; of course, I understand if you want to keep it vague like this. It is your poem, so you can edit--or not--how you please; if a lot of your ideas revolve around keeping it this way, then go for it!
Anyways, this is a nice poem; I can't wait to see what else you write! :D

null25 replied · May 15, 2014

Thank you for your feedback!

User avatar
GrapeNerd
Review
GrapeNerd wrote a review Review · May 14, 2014

Hi, and welcome to YWS! I apologize in advance if my review is kind of crappy, I'm kind of scatter-brained as of the moment.

On to the review!

So, let's start with the title. It is, indeed, very interesting, that's why I decided to click on it and read. Though, I didn't really get it.

Next: the content. The very first line captured me and I couldn't stop reading. So this is about a person without a title, right? And then there's this girl named Tish. Who is Tish? It really made me curious as to who she is, urging me to read on. I like how you ended it, it's very simple but had a lot of impact, so good job!

Also, I can't help but notice that each line is a single sentence; I suggest using other punctuations to make your poem run more smoothly. Aside from that, there's nothing else that I find wrong. It's a very good poem. You can be sure that I'll be reading more of your works. Till then, keep writing!
Cheers,
GrapeNerd

null25 replied · May 14, 2014

Thank you! If things if things go as planned, then you will be seeing much more of Tish in my future works:)

I look forward to it! Also, nice profile picture!

null25 replied · May 14, 2014

Thank you!



Stories don't end because you stopped paying attention.
— SJ Whitby