I want to chop down this apple tree.
It simply does not care for me.
I nourished the plant with my own two hands,
Yet it refuses to bear me any fruit.
I see that the tree is indeed fruitful,
But it cherishes me with none of its gifts.
The tree would tell me I would soon be rewarded
Every single time I would water its soil,
Uttering promises and false gratitude
Whenever I would chase away the birds.
So I became hopeful that I would soon harvest,
Though logic tells me I will receive nothing.
I know I need to remove this apple tree,
Yet all the effort and time that I wasted
Will not let me forget the possibility of
Someday--maybe--getting my sweet treat.
No!
I am sorry, dear tree, but this won't work.
I am scared for the tree's answer.
Will my tree try and protest once more?
Tell me I will soon obtain the promised fruit?
Maybe even let me taste the juice?
Anything to break my will.
I don't know which is more terrifying:
This, or maybe the tree won't mind at all.
But, through the worries, all I know is
That I need the space in my yard
To plant a new apple tree in its spot,
A tree that wants to bring me fruit.
A tree that wants to love me too.
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140,218 Literary Works • 673,046 Reviews
Nice poem! It has a very interesting concept, and made me think in a new way. Nice descriptions, it's very thorough and I really got the picture. I especially enjoyed the first two lines. I like how this poem is specific but not too specific. It sets guidelines, but the tree can symbolize something different for each reader. That means your poem can really effect a lot of people, because it's not targeting one specific person or problem. I also enjoyed how the theme of the poem slightly changed after the bolded "no", but it still tied into the top half.
Some lines flowed beautifully, but others I felt were a bit clunky and awkward. For example, the lines "Every single time I would water its soil / uttering promises and false gratitude / whenever I would chase away the birds / so I became hopeful that I would soon harvest." After reading through those lines a few times, I realized that the "so" in "so I became hopeful" didn't really make sense to be there and just interrupted the flow of the phrasing. I would recommend going over your poem slowly and carefully analyzing the word choice and phrasing, making sure that it all flows nicely and makes sense.
This was a really great poem. Keep writing!
-Riles
Thank you so much for your feedback!!
Nice poem! It has a very interesting concept, and made me think in a new way. Nice descriptions, it's very thorough and I really got the picture. I especially enjoyed the first two lines. I like how this poem is specific but not too specific. It sets guidelines, but the tree can symbolize something different for each reader. That means your poem can really effect a lot of people, because it's not targeting one specific person or problem. I also enjoyed how the theme of the poem slightly changed after the bolded "no", but it still tied into the top half.
Some lines flowed beautifully, but others I felt were a bit clunky and awkward. For example, the lines "Every single time I would water its soil / uttering promises and false gratitude / whenever I would chase away the birds / so I became hopeful that I would soon harvest." After reading through those lines a few times, I realized that the "so" in "so I became hopeful" didn't really make sense to be there and just interrupted the flow of the phrasing. I would recommend going over your poem slowly and carefully analyzing the word choice and phrasing, making sure that it all flows nicely and makes sense.
This was a really great poem. Keep writing!
-Riles
I love the symbolism used in this poem. Relationships should always be a give and take kind of deal and this poem show symbolism through an apple tree of a toxic relationship that needs to be cut at the truck, which I like. I think this poems use of the apple tree shows some spiritual interpretation, to me as the reader, as well. Throughout history, the story of the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden is used to show something or someone that a person believes to be good and fruitful. They are told that if they invest in this, only good will come and they will be rewarded. This is given, the person knows that it is wrong to invest time in something that will only bring loneliness in the end. I love how this poem allows the reader to interpret in many different ways!
I'm not amazing at grammar, but I didn't see anything wrong with that aspect. However, some lines were a little too straight forward. Lines such as "I'm scared for the tree's answer" could be written with more feeling. I get the tone of this poem is short, structured thoughts, but some imagery could help the overall symbolism of the tree really paint a picture in my head, personally. Look into the meanings behind colors and smells and sounds and see if maybe a color represents rebirth or regret etc. Having hidden meanings in poems, personally, is really fun as the writer. It feels like you have a little hidden pop of thought in every single line.
I hope my review helps. I really love this poem a lot! Thanks for reading.
-Dali <3
Thank you so much for your review! Your praise/criticism is super helpful:)