Do you remember standing tiptoe?
Reaching for that hidden door?
Forgetting yourself, you wander around and lose yourself,
You keep heading down that lost path,
The smile you smile when you are sleeping,
Seems as if you've found what you’re searching for,
Today as always I’m striding forward,
Even if we're separated by that wall again,
We will still be connected by our love,
We won't give in to this cruel fate,
Someday, before my eyes,
The world will change and be reborn onto a kinder one.
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140,828 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Brittany here to do a review.
Reading this poem, in my opinion, doesn't really have any voice to it.
To me, it is just.. there and not going anywhere like hidden. Also I think it would have been a better flow to at least add a little imagery in it and rhyme. Thanks for your time in reading this. Please don't have any offense in what I have said. Have a good night!
Happy Writing!
You are so talented, this is a truly special piece of writing that I really enjoyed reading. Well done!