Chapter 2

Waking up most mornings is like trekking through mud. Slowly, dreams fade, then suddenly I'm back in my own bed with no real purpose to be there. I reflect in myself and feel the small tether holding me to the earth. I'm so close to falling, to breaking the cord and floating back into that tranquil sleep. But then I remember why I woke up the morning before and the morning before that. It's because I remember that there are people on this tiny speck of the universe who care if I float or stay and I remember that I cannot let them down.

Wake up sleepy head! I'm calling you!

And of course, Leyla is one of them or else she wouldn't be the voice of my alarm.

Wake up sleepy head! I'm calling you!

I groan and sit up. "Today will be the day that changes it all," I tell myself and call Leyla.

"Hey, Leyla! Don't worry, I haven't already planned 5 different deaths for you already!"

"Oh, good mornings sweet sunshine! Guess who texted me and asked if I was going to Silly Sunday? Rae!!"

I groan extra loud and roll out of bed.

"What?!? Don't worry, I already said we were going!"

"Of course, you did. Well, I can't get out of it so I guess we really are going."

She squeals so loud I pull the phone away from my ear and wince.

"Well get dressed quickly, I'm already outside of your house with some fresh doughnuts."

"Ok, I coming."

I hang up and get dressed.

Rae once told me that he knew who I was behind my cool mask of perfection. I never believed him because if he did, we still wouldn't be friends. It wasn't surprising when he said this because Rae thinks he knows everyone when he really doesn't. Though he wasn't lying about knowing how I felt. I know that he pretends to be so cool and chill about everything but a lot can get to him and I get it. After that day, he never showed me a chink in his armor that he's so cleverly designed.

I open the door to the slick black jeep and am welcomed by the sweet aroma of fresh doughnuts and chai.

"Did you get the doughnuts just because you knew it would get me out here faster?"

"I guess we will never know!" She smiles sweetly and hits the gas.

"So Rae texted you huh?"

"No, he actually picked up the phone and called me. I don't know but he's been giving off mixed signals again." There's one little crease on her forehead and I know that she's really thought hard about this.

"I'm telling you, he's totally in love with you!" I say it to make her smile.

"Sooooooooo... are you going to play volleyball? Because coach seriously wants you as her center and just won't stop asking me to recruit you!" She looks at me with the expectancy of a yes.

I take a huge bite of doughnut and think of the volleyball and of the rushing feeling of spiking. I imagine the look of surprise as the ball hits their face and then when they look at me a look of horror crosses their face. I look behind me and see massive wings unfurling and starting to beat. I feeling my feet leave the ground as everyone starts chanting...

"Ley.. you know I can't play. I can barely control myself in PE! How the hell could I make it through an hour of playing time!" I expect her to nod and change the subject but she keeps on at it.

"Ok. Well, what about some other sport. Maybe basketball! You love basketball!"

"Ley, stop. It would never work. And we both know it." Stopping her from speaking is the worst part. "Anyways, you stole team captain from Zailen?!? She must've flipped!"

"Stop changing the freaking subject! You love volleyball so just do the stupid sport." She's angry now and I don't stop her from feeling it.

"I love volleyball and basketball and acting and dating but that doesn't mean I can do it!" My voice feels scratchy and far away. I need to calm down. "Being an angel doesn't mean that I can just flaunt around showing off my pretty little feather and do everything I want to do! I thought you knew that but I guess not!"

"Damn your stupid wings and your stupid rules! I know what people think but that doesn't mean that you can just sit back and enjoy life from a distance. If you just live that way you might as well go turn yourself into a sanctuary."

"Stop calling it a freaking sanctuary! It's a prison, not a place of peace but a place of hopelessness." Numbness, that is my specialty, to not feel anything and right now, I need to stop feeling anger.

"A I love you but sometimes your a coward and it hurts me inside." Pain wrenching, that's what I feel. She continues. "And sometimes you build this wall so high that I think I'm losing you."

"Pull. the car. Over. NOW!" My voice is icy and I pray to God and ask for his forgiveness.

She obeys and when she finally faces me, I see two tears falling down her face in perfect unison. I wipe them away, "Never worry about losing a guardian angel because they never will fail their job."

She sniffles and then hugs me. "I'm sorry, I know how much it pains you and I should not have brought it up,"

I smile at her and we switch seats.

By the time we reach the parking lot of our little town park, Leyla's a cleaned up and a million times better. I look around and see Rae's blue truck and go park by it. I see that Chase and Leo are with him but when I check again, I realize there's a new member of the pack.

A tall and lanky boy with brownish-blonde hair is with Rae's group. Somehow, he is lanky and strong and he can pull it off. He wears a ballcap and big glasses that somehow make his features pop.

"Hello, there ladies. How are we doing this fine day?" Rae asks.

"Oh, splendid." He smiles and I slap his arm.

Rae and Leyla were the founding fathers of our group. Then I slowly ambled into Leyla's life which then made me Rae's friend too. Slowly but surely, Leo began hanging with Rae and soon they were best friends. Then our sweet little Chase just one day hung out with us and never left.

"Hey Chase, hey Leo. How you guys doing, not that I care or anything." Sarcasm is my middle name of course. But actually, I don't really care about them. I want to know who glasses boy is.

Leo must be reading my mind because he walks over with new kid and says, "Hey Autumn! I should introduce you to the newest kid of the group, Nathan."

"Hello there, are you new or have I ignored you all my life because if I did then I'm sorry. I never want to come off rude."

He smiles. "Nah, I'm new. I just moved here with my aunt and uncle."

"Oh cool, well, welcome! Where'd you move from?"

"A little town out in the middle of nowhere. That's all that's needed to know."

I smile and see Chase grabbing Leyla around the middle and throwing her into the lush grass. Sometimes, I wonder if she really is in love with him. They have a tendency to always hang onto each other; literally.

"If you hurt one hair on her body, I will skin you alive!" I yell at him.

He just grins and picks her back up. We begin walking up the path to the little tent that our fierce cheerleaders have set up for annual "Silly Sunday".

Silly Sunday is an event that the cheerleaders host to raise money. They make a bunch of baked goods and yummy dishes and sell them for super good prices. For some reason, it's named from all the cheerleaders always saying, "Silly me," after spilling something on the tables. Today they have cooked up a good old fashioned cookout and some ridiculous treats.

We pile our plates with heaps of steaming potatoes, burgers, and veggies. Then, we head for a huge maple tree whose leaves are just starting to turn. I hear a phone bleep and just enjoy the warm sunshine day. After enjoy it, I look at Nathan and see that he's thoroughly enjoying his food.

"Hey new boy, you enjoying some good traditional cheerleading food?"

"A, give the growing boy a break." Rae gives a wolfish smile and sends a piece of broccoli at me.

I gasp and send it right back over.

"Children children, please! Keep it PG for the new kid." Leyla shut us down.

The new kid (aka Nathan) clears his throat. "I'm still here you know."

Chase punches his arm good-naturedly and says, "Get used to it, it'll wear down in time."

It's all peaceful until someone's ringtone ruins the moment.

"Autumn, that's your phone." Leyla's embarrassed and I can tell.

"Really Ley? You had to change it to my mother singing?!?"

She rolls her eyes, "Just check your damn phone."

I glare at her and then stick out my tongue and then I check who texted me. I see that it's my mom.

MOM: Honey, sry to bother u but u have to come home

me: Why?

MOM: Just come home

"Hey Ley, sorry to bother you but can you give me a ride home?"

She still chewing but Nathan speaks up. "I can. I have to head home anyways and at least, I'm done eating!" Nathan grins at me and for one whole second, I feel like I know him.

"Oh ok, well, never mind then Ley." I grab my things and go hug Leyla and say goodbye to the "dudes".

"Love you all." I wink at Chase in particular just to get a rise out of him and then follow mystery boy.