Morning trees imbibe mineral delights
Synthesize patiently, without haste
Unfurling tender leaves catch every bite
Nature must not Waste.
Imagine, I the redwood drinking
And you the cloud of rain
Ephemerally floating over me
Whilst your very self drains.
Above, through, in and out
Just long enough to feed our needs
Casting shadows, and doubts
With shapes described in daydreams.
I, the mere observer
Beg guiltily, as though sinning
You, with no true borders
No end and no beginning.
Bless those who worship and disdain you
Ever in equal metric
Make my spindly skyward groveling
Ever more pathetic, yet
Ever more likely to reach and reach
To heaven, to have and to hold you
Never knowing what those woken from
These lofty daydreams do.
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140,482 Literary Works • 673,249 Reviews
Hello,
just thought I'd leave a review. Immaculate poem, genuinely- the rhymes sound unique and impactful, really getting your message across. The allegories that resemble contradictions of the omnipotence of perhaps God/an energy force (I assume?) and the natural imagery further heightens the pronounced flaws that spirituality may have. Few criticisms for this, however perhaps add more detail to the second part?
Please keep publishing these, they are incredible.
Thank you
Hello,
just thought I'd leave a review. Immaculate poem, genuinely- the rhymes sound unique and impactful, really getting your message across. The allegories that resemble contradictions of the omnipotence of perhaps God/an energy force (I assume?) and the natural imagery further heightens the pronounced flaws that spirituality may have. Few criticisms for this, however perhaps add more detail to the second part?
Please keep publishing these, they are incredible.
Thank you
OH I REALLY LIKED THIS. I love the rhyming, the similes, the metaphors, and the imagery it entails. The poem never directly leans one way or the other over the opinion on the relationship between worshipper and worshipped. There is enough to let the reader draw their own conclusions. I think the title does well to draw the distinction between a heathen ((N)ever) or a priest Ever. I might have to ready this a couple more times after this review too!
hi there!
went through your writing....nice thought though...some words i found really to be appropriate to use in certain sentences. but just a suggestion...you could have maintained a pattern...it does not go in link with your writing content...but it just...makes your writing look better...nd in more a poetic way~
well...thats all i had to say...keep writing...