Dance

Great poem. This is rather like a song but it is a happy is one. It is quite nice to read aloud and is quite energetic. I felt that you could use some more interesting rhyming words. I liked your colourful adjectives and adverbs. "My limbs stay in motion every second" this is aline that does not seem to blend in with the others. I also liked your starting and ending. I really look forward to reading more of your work.
-Anshira

This was really good, and I could tell you must have been very energetic when you wrote this (either that or you had just been listening to music). I liked the interesting word choice. Words like eternal, blaze, wild, vibrant, etc., really stand out and make the poem stick in your mind after you've read it. I didn't see any spelling errors but I did notice that you ended some of the lines in commas or periods, but others you didn't. It made the poem flow less and it was already pretty choppy to begin with. You need to make it smooth and fluent, especially if you're doing a poem on dance.
These are the lines I thought could use a few changes:

"Breath hums" would make more sense as "air hums." And you already used the word hum in another line previous to this one. Maybe vibrates would be a better choice for the first line that you used the word hum in.

(My body hums= my body vibrates.)

The lines “vibrant and amazing" and “incredible and astounding" would both be better with the and.

I hope I'm not being to critical, but it's only because I really liked it!! (If that makes sense).

Hey, it's Storm here reviewing for ya tonight! Just to let you know, this review is most likely going to be a bit shorter than usual because I need to leave soon. That being said, I still wanted to get in this review for you even if it is a quickie. Now, onwards and upwards!


First of all, I didn't notice any spelling errors, so bravo to you on that!

Next, though, I must say that the formatting of the poem and the lack of punctuation made "Dance" difficult to read. The entire work felt choppy and disconnected. I would advise you to at least change the format, or add in a few commas and periods where necessary.

You did a good job showing the reader how vibrant and exciting your dance is, and how much passion you have for the music. Also, I love the imagery in the lines "...to light a thousand galaxies with an eternal, blinding blaze." I wish that you could incorporate more sentences like this throughout your piece. I have two nitpicks, though. (I know, don't hate me. xP) I feel like the line "Movement is required" at the beginning of your poem felt really out of place and unnecessary. Besides it being a short, awkward phrase, everyone knows that movement is required in dance! And if the reader didn't- for some strange, foreign reason- you demonstrated through your words how much you move while dancing. Secondly, "all the time, always" is redundant. "All the time" has the exact same meaning as "always". The repetition does add emphasis that you continue to move, but at the same time feels unnecessary and therefore this line should probably be reworded.

Overall, I thought this is a vibrant poem full of the exhilaration that dancing brings. If you scoot the format around slightly, I think that it will improve the piece a ton. Like I stated before, the way you have "Dance" written out currently causes the entire work to feel disconnected. Try smoothing it out a touch, okay, dear?

I suddenly want to dance, LovetheMusic! Haha As always, write on!

---Storm
(Sorry for the quickie, but I gotta go! I still hope this helps you out, however. )

Hi there! My name is Ariana and I'm going to (attempt) to review this. Okay, so to start off, I have to say that I love dancing too! What is your favorite style? Anyway, onto the review. This is full of figurative language, metaphors, similes and other literary devices. I think that it is important to utilize these devices so that the poem is stronger. While I liked this, there were things that I disliked. I think repetition is good, but to say things like

"All the time"
"Always"
Is kind of unnecessary. It doesn't really make sense to use both there.

You also say, "I don't want to stop"

"Absolutely never"

Again, two lines that are not exactly necessary. Of course you can keep them, but I think you should choose one.

Also when you say things like that it seems redundant. Lastly, the ending. The ending was good, but I think you could improve the last line.

Maybe say, "This is the power of dance"

Or "This is the power that dance gives me"

Of course those are suggestions and you could always leave that untouched. However, I think it would sound better if you improvised just a bit, trying not to be as redundant. Good job overall and I hope I wasn't too nit picky.