16+ Language

Isolation Zone Chapter Two

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

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When he was done with his shower he grapped a towel and opened the door to see a couple different outfits set out, he was about to grab one when his towel started slipping followed by a slight giggle. He jumped back in the bathroom peering around the corner to see her standing a couple doors away in the doorway. "I'm sorry I didn't see you," Dillon said embarrassed.

"Aww what a tease, and here I was hoping it would fall." Sam said eyeing his towel.

"Um.. you uh.... standing there for a reason?" Dillon asked.

"Do I need a reason to stand around in my house?"

"I guess not, umm... I'll just grab the clothes and be out in a minute." He said and quickly grabbed the plain white t shirt and jeans.

"Mmmm, suit yourself. Dinner is almost ready," she said walking away eyeing his towel one last time and laughing.

He followed her eyes, "what was she looking at? She must have imagined a something under the towel." Then he saw in the mirror how he was red as a rose petal in embarrassment and she was just playing off of it. "Oh I'm a tease am I?"

He stepped out and went downstairs following his nose to the food.

"So is there anything you can't do?" Dillon said laughing.

"What?" Sam asked confused.

"You can cook, keep a house clean, go to high school, manage a job that takes all day, and still stay sane. Is there anything you can't do?" He said still laughing a little.

"Hmmm, I can think of a few things," she said eyeing his appearance. "That look suits you."

"Smells delicious by the way, I love pasta... I think. I don't recognize the smell so I don't think I have had what you're making. Looking forward to it though, and about the job and school you motivated. A job should be easy to find, but how would I pay for the school stuff? I don't have any money right now."

"You're lucky to have amnesia I guess. Everything is a new experience so you can enjoy it more, I mean that sincerely it's a bright side anyway. And you already have one friend to enjoy things with, I promise to make sure even if you never remember things to make sure you still enjoy yourself. Anyway, schools in the IZ get new people year round, you should have all school supplies sent over to the school by tomorrow. And they will give you enough for a week or so plus like me, your parents are still technically legal guardians of you until your eighteenth birthday so most is payed in advance. We DO get mail from the outside world, but it's one way for obvious reasons."

"Oh, well I know one benefit, no taxes right?"

"Yes but it's only two cents versus the twelve people outside pay, and it never leaves the IZ it's used for our economy only."

"Hah, still better than what they face outside."

Sam sighs out of sheer pity "You will understand sooner or later."

"What if my memory doesn't come back, I still don't remember anything beyond my name before waking up under a sunset with you standing next to me."

"Hmmm, well then you can start over here. Dinner is ready," she said lining up the table. After they finished he got up and took the plates to the sink. When she walked over to help he stopped her and said. "It doesn't feel right for you to be doing so much and me doing nothing in return besides I wouldn't get money for a few weeks anyway."

"Oh my, what a gentleman," she said. "Feel free to do all the housework you want just don't worry so much. If you don't remember anything you can stay here, I might be about your age but I can manage just fine. I have a dirty mind sure, but I can take care of you and manage fine still for a while. I have not gotten six months without learning to survive plus getting help from my mother online if I have questions."

He grabbed her hand lightly before she left. "Thank you again for the kindness, I will repay you with my first paycheck."

"Well thanks, but just watch that innocent personality. Like I said before you'll get eaten alive. Innocent personalities and your good looks in one person are a dime a dozen here. I will look out for you, but I can't be there all the time."

"Oh? I would consider myself average."

"Well you must just not see what I see."

"I guess I don't, thanks for the compliment though."

"You're welcome, I set up a room for you earlier. It's the doorway I was standing in, I got homework but should be done in a half hour. Then you can pick put a.... then I will pick out a movie I think you will like, and we can watch it and go to bed."

"A different bed, right?" Dillon asked jokingly.

"Unless you want to share, this house DOES have a king size bed in it," she said laughing.

"Tempting but I'm not that fast at anything.... wait forget I said that." Dillon said knowing her mind worked pretty well.

"To late," she said laughing as she walked up the stairs.

He finished the dishes and dried his hands then went to check out the room. He stopped in the doorway in awe. Clearly she didn't do everything herself, recently anyway. But some stuff was new. The tv and computer both looked like they were just put there, the tv stand was made with looked like crystal and emerald. The desk looked like some kind of really expensive wood he never saw before, the room was spotless, definitely artistic. The part that caught his eye most was a emerald color nightstand and the lamp lit the room in such a way that made everything literary reflect a dozen gemstones all over because the walls were arranged to be covered in mirrors at just the right spots.

"So what do you think, have to admit I just finished redecorating the entire room as you got out of the shower."

"You did the whole room?"

"Yup, most girls love expensive things. I like things that look nice regardless of cost. Well?"

"It's um... it's the most amazing decorating I have ever seen. Honestly if you went into home decorating you could make-"

"Next to nothing, unless the stereotype of a cheater doesn't affect my life  to being limited or over looked. I doubt Ellen will rush my designing to be on her show anytime soon, nor have Martha Stewart acknowledge it, though she was in prison her case wasn't as nice as this. But thank you it does mean a lot."

"You know, the design doesn't  do a bad job reflecting the beauty of its creator. Oh ummm... crap I'm bad at these things."

"You're also really cute getting flustered so easily. I know I would eat you up if given the chance."

"So um about the movie?"

"Almost done with the homework, work before play sadly."

"Should I go downstairs to make popcorn or ice cream?"

"You remember something?" She said looking surprised.

"No they just seem to fit with a movie, not sure why I think that though."

"Well if you are doing it off memory or not it's something we have in common. Popcorn and ice cream belong in any movie viewing."

"Right! I will go make some."

"I will be down in a bit."

"Alright." Dillon went down to make a lot of popcorn. But spent half the time just amazed simply by how much she had here. "How much can one girl eat?" He asked himself out loud.

"A lot if she eats right and gets as much exercise as I do."

He jumped not knowing she was there.

"It will probably take a while but eventually you'll figure it out, memory or not." She pulled out half a dozen bags. "I will find a movie, be sure to use a half stick of butter at least."

"Half?"

"Like I said, I exercise a lot more than most girls. By tomorrow before work I will have burnt off all the calories, carbs, fat and anything else in it anyway."

"Well you know what you like, that's for sure. It definitely doesn't effect your figure that's for sure. Half a stick it is."

She came back a couple minutes later. "Mmm, that smells delicious."

"I know ri.... I see what you did there."

"Oh, I have nooo idea what you mean."

"Copying the way I complemented your delicious cooking earlier."

"Oh, I would never."

"Mmhmm, yeah and I can teleport."

"How funny," she tossed a DVD box at Dillon and he read it.

"Apparently I can read minds at least."

"Yeah apparently. Anyway it's been my favorite movie since I first saw it a couple years back."

He read the title again "Jumper" made in "woah this movie is older than me."

"Me too actually, I didn't ask since you look the same age but how old are you?"

"Sixteen. Was born in May."

"Same age," she glared at him mischievously. "And month."

"Your next question would be the day, it's the twentieth."

"Okay, what the hell?"

"Okay, we were born the same day month and year. Weird."

"Dillon this has got to be... you know what nevermind. Let's get to the movie."

"Were you going to say destiny?"

She gave an evil glare "yes, now get in front of that giant flat screen tv or I will drag you there."

"Ladies first," he said picking up the popcorn in one hand and ice cream in the other.

She walked in front of him, and sat down slowly. "Not sure if it's just her mind getting to me but that seems more like a pose than sitting slowly," he thought to himself.

She turned around at the last second to make it go red, "not so innocent anymore are you?" She laughed.

"Now who is the tease?" He said putting everything down.

"Oh? I wasn't aware you wanted too, should we watch the movie after?" She laughed at the sarcasm.

"Sure, why not?" He said half joking and looked at her surprised at the straight face she kept.

She suddenly arched a brow and said, "and I pass the title of tease back to you good sir. If that was serious you would not have stood around so long. You are better at playing hard to get than I would have guessed any guy could be." She grabbed his hand and pulled him to the couch. 

"As much as I like staring at your beautiful green eyes Dillon I could do that anytime, let's watch the movie."

After almost two hours and the movie having just ended, they are both tired.

"Leave the stuff there if you're tired I always clean up in the morning myself."

"Sure, by the way, was that a king size bed in the room you just happened to put me in?"

"Yeah not this late you're not, nice try."

"Hmmm, so should I come down the hall."

"Feel free, just clean up the mess with a tissue or something."

"Aww after I finally decided too." Dillon kept teasing her all the way up the stairs.

"Keep teasing you might get something you don't want. Like the tease of the year award, trust me the school would hate you."

"They have that?" He asked.

"Of course not, go to sleep. Don't try sneaking in either, my bed doesn't fit two."

"Alright good night Sam."

"Yep, you too Dillon."

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
Holiday30
Comment

Okay interesting concept in chapter two. Your charters are coming more to life and I am loving every bit of it. The only thing I can say wrong is what chaser said in his review. Not enough action to much talking. you need more body language more jesters and etc. But overall I do like the story

User avatar
Chaser
Review
Chaser wrote a review · Thu May 28, 2015 11:11 pm

Hello again.

What enjoyable characters you have here! The way they interact is (dare I say it) very cute, and this seems to be shaping up to be an enjoyable romance.

This scene is mostly dialogue. As it is, this would make a good script, but I feel like there's not enough action between the lines to bolster the dialogue. As it is, the chapter feels split up between description dumps and floating heads. Although, it's mostly dialogue anyway.

While you don't have to douse the lines with actions, it might be a good idea to do that at least a bit more here. A mischievous glint in Sam's eye, a wry grin from Dillon, small actions of that variety. Oftentimes, the reader can use them to infer extra information about the characters' personalities, which is usually helpful to visualize and understand them as well as hear their dialogue.

Speaking of dialogue, remember commas and contractions. Commas are pretty inherent for most speech, and contractions are used often by today's youth.

This is good, and could be better. Whether or not you want to put action details between the dialogue is more of a style choice, so that's up to you. Good luck. Cheers.


-Chaser

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Dragongirl
Review

Kevin! It is I, Dragongirl here to review with style!

I just finished reading the first chapter and figured I would review the second one because you don't have any reviews on it and I love being the first to review.

I like the idea of this story, despite it being slightly unrealistic, the pretense is great. A society of criminals, nice. :) I am hoping to see that criminal element bleed into the next chapters a bit more though. Currently from what you have describe so far they are pretty well organized with school, nice houses, and jobs. I would love read some corruption. ;)

As far as the characters go, I like Dillon and Sam. Sam is a lot of fun but I get the feeling she may have some secrets. I hope Dillon's memories come back soon. I am curious to see what his back story is. My only issue with him is he is a little to chillax-ed to have just woke up in a closed off state with a bunch of pedophiles and no memories. He should be freaking out a bit more. But that is just my option.

I notice some punctuation that could use a little help and I always like it when people help me out in that area so here it goes.

Then he saw in the mirror how he was red as a rose petal in embarrassment and she was just playing off of it. "Oh I'm a tease am I?"


"You'er lucky to have amnesia I guess. Everything is a new experience so you can enjoy it more, I mean that sincerely it's a bright side anyway.


Should be, you're.

"Oh my what a gentleman," she said. "Feel free to do all the housework you want just don't worry so much.


"Oh my, what a gentleman," You needed a comma there.

"Your welcome, I set up a room for you earlier. It's the doorway I was standing in, I got homework but should be done in a half hour. Then you can pick put a.... then I will pick out a movie I think you will like, and we can watch it and go to bed."


Should be you're.

The tv and computer both looked like they were just put their, the tv stand was made with looked like crystal and emerald.


Wrong their, it should be there. :)

Punctuation and spelling really are NOT my strong suits so those are just a few obvious ones I noticed.

You have a great story here, go crazy with it...but not to much more crazy than an isolated zone where the government keeps creeps and pervs. Just kidding.

Looking forward to chapter 3!

DG

Thank you, didn't notice the typos or the wrong variation in the last part.



"I think; therefore, I am."
— René Descartes