Stammer

Awwww! Saddness!

I love the entire thing, and how it slowly feels more and more frustrated and annoyed, and desperate, as you go along.

I don't have much to say, but I think I found two tiny nitpicks. They're really miniscule little things that stuck out to me, so feel free to totally ignore them.

There’s something I-I

want t-t-to say.

I feel like you could pack a whole lot more emotion into this by simply changing want to need. Because it seems like there's a whole lot more needing than wanting in here.

U-usually it’s not

bad with you.
I don't know why, but I feel like it would sound better with the It's before the U-usually,
It's u-usually not
bad with you.

Really like it, keep it up.

Hey! ajruby here to review!

I really like this poem! I think it represents the "struggle" of someone who has difficulty with stammering. It's very creative and I really like it! Some expansion of this would probably help, like the main character going back to remember something that happened in his/her past or something that's happening right now. (Just a suggestion)

Anyway, I can't find any grammatical errors in here, so that part is good. Keep up the great work!

Happy review day and may the reviews be ever in your favour!

-Lady Ariana

Kate! Haha. I remember that you did a review for me at one point. My french poem, la vie est belle. So I decided to check this out.

I love your repetition of the stammer. At first, I didn't really understand why you repeated "I". I thought maybe you were using that to separate the stanzas because formatting can be odd. B-t-dubs, hit shift-enter to only drop down one line. But then at the end you give me some little clues.

"Sorry, it's usually not bad with you." That kinda gives me that hint that the MC isn't nervous around the person they are addressing. I kinda got the romantic hint there, the I brushed it off. Then the last stanza comes up, and you talk about how three words aren't much. I wish you would've finished off with the stammered version of I love you.

I have an idea. Just something that I thought would be cool. It might be cool if you did the stammered version of I love you, then have the MC say that they aren't nervous anymore. Because they know the person to whom they are talking is worth it. They're worth the effort to not stammer. Again, do what you want with that, that's just my piece.

I thought this was a gorgeous poem, and probably one of my favs. Thanks for writing this, I really loved it. Keep Writing, and I look forward to seeing you on YWS.

-Gravity