A single dandelion blew her seeds onto the earth
Each seed sprouted and found one another in the dirt
Instinctually, they conformed to the soil
Their roots and sameness interconnected their veins
The community welcomed new seeds
Before a new moon could rise,
The buds would root with the others
Promptly, a passing creature would smell them
And there would be no distinction between the wise and the fresh
The wind was a lonely one
She could let out her breath and watch them sway
But incapable of planting herself
She desired their spiny roots
Never able to call them her own
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138,956 Literary Works • 672,355 Reviews
Hi Julia!! I loved you work!
Idk if I interpreted it right or if it was the vision you painted, but I'd still love to share my view ",
It sounds like "wind" is the type of friend most us are likely all have. The one who always lends a shoulder to us, listens, and comforts us. Yet they feel so unfamiliar, because they don't stay with us. I mean, they disappear. They are scared, scared let their guard down. They can't seem to be able to make connections, stay. We feel close to her, yet she feels like we are distant. She has no problem going away therfore.
It was very touching for me. I appreciate you for sharing ^=^
Hello, My Friend!
Pleasure to meet you! I'm Raven, and upon discovering this poem, i thought I'd give it a quick review! Hope you don't mind.
To start, this is a beautiful poem! The visuals are incredible, I can just see those drifting dandelion seeds on a sunny, breezy day, and the underlying story feels like one that talks about both community and the perspective of a pariah. The dandelion seeds, coming together, colonizing, establishing roots, spreading their seeds. The wind, the pariah, the drifter, never able to linger, she can pass through and mingle among the surface, but is unable to connect with those deep roots...Well, of course, that's just my interpretation, sorry if I'm off hehe.
*ahem* As far as a technical review goes, I don't really have anything to recommend! This poem is amazing as-is.
As for my favorite lines and parts, ooo, that's tricky...I would have to say:
I like how this speaks to the "community" of the seeds. They find eachother so naturally and effortlessly. They can even welcome new seeds to the colony, but if they're not dandelion seeds—much less seeds at all, well...what can be done?
I love how you capture the wind's perspective here. Blowing, watching they sway in their own world, unable to join in. Likewise, how you chose to refer to it as a "she," making the underlying story feel more personal and expanding on the meanings here.
Overall, this was a lovely poem! Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
Hi, I really enjoyed reading your poem - I'll never think of dandelions the same again!
I like how you personified the dandelion and wind each as a female "her"! It makes me think of the Mexican legend of La Lorrona - the spirit who drowned her own children and is forever mourning them. The seeds are like the dandelion's children, so is the dandelion experiencing "empty nest syndrome"?
Your use of the temporal reference to "a new moon" seems like more tribal culture.
The community seems to have rituals. I love that! The dandelions' interconnectedness and shared tradition serves as a contrast to the loneliness of the wind, who can never be part of them.
Also, I noticed how you had the wind desiring their "roots" - not their stems, etc. The wind wants their strength, their past that keeps them secure. That's lovely because it reflects how so often we are lonely amongst people, simply because we aren't connected to their pasts, to their roots.
I loved this poem.
Suggested improvement. The community of dandelions and the passing creature have an ambiguous relationship. Is the creature eating them? It would seem so because there's "no distinction between the wise and the fresh", but maybe we could do with a violent verb to make it more explicit if this is the case.