Young Writers Society

Hello there! This is Ina aka loveissourgrapes and I am here to give you a review/comment for your lovely poem about those lovely rainy days. I am glad I got to read this because it is raining in my place and I love rainy days and remembering old memories of my childhood.

"i leave my window open when it rains,

leaving my blinds covered in dirt from the sky

i place my candle upside down to rest my chin by the window

i let the rain sprinkle on my face through the screen

the lightning hides, leaving only me and the thundering, gray heaven

sulking in the beauty of the rain pouring down on my childhood streets

the aging trees look saturated with green and water races down the curbs

my eyes fill up as the gutters do, and i wonder…

which came first?"

I love all of these lines. I actually thought at first, it's just about how you like the rain but it reminds me of my childhood too. Although, it kinda feels long so you should cut it into two or three parts. Overall, it is good. Keep on writing! Have a beautiful day/night too c:

Hello! Your neighborhood Angie here to leave a review
First of all, I love the theme of the poem!! I love the imagery, and the feeling this poem gives the reader. The poem feels relaxing, and I feel relaxed just reading it! I love the line, "The lightning hides, leaving only me and the thundering, gray heaven" It gives a peaceful, yet dark tone. The way you describe the sky here is artistically wonderful, one of my favorite parts of the poem. How you compared the narrator's eyes to gutters completely fits the theme and adds a bittersweet, even sad tone near the end. However, I had trouble reading the line, "The aging trees look saturated with green and water races down the curbs." I had to read it a few times to understand what it was saying. It's a lengthy line, and I feel it could almost be split into two. Overall, this poem describes a beautifully written scene that leaves the reader both in awe and a bit sad, probably remembering their own childhood days. Good job!

Hello!
The provided piece evokes a vivid image of a person's contemplative experience during a rainy day. The use of descriptive language creates a strong sensory experience for the reader, allowing them to visualize the scene.

The opening line, "I leave my window open when it rains," immediately sets the tone and establishes the central theme of the poem. It suggests a connection between the narrator and the natural world, inviting the reader to explore the emotions and thoughts that arise from this relationship.

The line "leaving my blinds covered in dirt from the sky" effectively captures the consequence of leaving the window open during rain. It adds a layer of realism to the imagery and reinforces the idea of the narrator's intimate interaction with the elements.

The following lines, "I place my candle upside down to rest my chin by the window, I let the rain sprinkle on my face through the screen," depict the narrator's physical engagement with the rain. This intimate act highlights their desire to merge with the natural world, seeking solace or a deeper connection through this sensory experience.

The imagery of the "lightning hides, leaving only me and the thundering, gray heaven" creates a sense of isolation and introspection. The contrast between the absence of lightning and the presence of thunder implies the narrator's focused attention on the rain and their surroundings, emphasizing a personal and contemplative mood.

The phrase "sulking in the beauty of the rain pouring down on my childhood streets" adds a touch of nostalgia and sentimental value. It suggests that the rain triggers fond memories and a wistful reflection on the past.

The mention of "aging trees saturated with green" and "water racing down the curbs" conveys the rich imagery of a rain-soaked environment, bringing the scene to life. The use of personification in describing the trees as "saturated" and the gutters filling up like the narrator's eyes deepens the emotional connection between the narrator and their surroundings.

The final question, "which came first?" introduces a philosophical element, inviting the reader to ponder the origins and cycles of nature. It adds a thought-provoking twist to the poem and prompts reflection on the interconnectedness of various phenomena.

Overall, the poem effectively conveys a sense of longing, introspection, and appreciation for the beauty and power of nature. The vivid imagery and introspective tone contribute to its evocative nature, capturing the reader's imagination and emotions.

Approved by the Corn Dog Enthusiasts Association (CDEA)

Howdy hey! Gengar here to leave a review!

My interpretation of this poem is that it’s about someone who is sitting by their window as it rains, and they are reminded of their childhood (“sulking in the beauty of the rain pouring down on my childhood streets”). Perhaps the speaker wants things to go back to how they used to be, but they can’t; the past is in the past. I think this is seen in this line especially:

i place my candle upside down to rest my chin by the window

Hey, there! I'm here to leave a quick review.

Firstly, I found this poem easy to read, which also makes it easy to understand. I also liked the use of descriptive words like "sprinkle" to describe the rainfall, and personification in instances like "water races down the curbs". Things like this help create vivid visuals in the reader's mind, and they make the setting feel more alive.

I guess I'm not quite sure what is meant by placing the candle upside down. Obviously the candle wasn't lit, or else it would cause a fire. I'm assuming maybe there is a hidden meaning or a significance that's not directly stated in this part. Perhaps what you're trying to indicate is that they put the candle out. Anyway, I think that's the only part I found myself confused about.

Aside from painting a realistic image that we can easily envision, you also used a nice little technique of comparison in saying "my eyes fill up as the gutters do". This gives a glimpse into the feeling or emotion of the narrator. Along with the rain and the gray skies, the setting already gives the impression of gloominess or solemnity, so it's appropriate that the narrator is evidently experiencing a feeling that corresponds with that mood.

I personally found the end a little odd, as there's no explanation for what exactly the narrator's wondering about when they ask "which came first". It felt a little strange to have that question pop up after a build-up of such specific emotion. I guess I just didn't get the feeling that that question carried that much significance. Maybe it would be good to tweak things a little or add some more lines that give insight into why this final question is so important and emotional. But that's just a suggestion that you can take or leave as you prefer.

Well, that's all for now. Thanks for sharing, and keep up the good work!

Hey there,

I stumbled on this amazing poem of yours.

First of all, I love the title. It is not short and catches your eye instantly. I really like the whole meaning behind your story. <333 It is so emotional and very sweet. Your writing style fits nicely with the poem and you did an amazing job!

Let me get started now.

i leave my window open when it rains,

leaving my blinds covered in dirt from the sky

i place my candle upside down to rest my chin by the window

i let the rain sprinkle on my face through the screen

the lightning hides, leaving only me and the thundering, gray heaven

sulking in the beauty of the rain pouring down on my childhood streets

the aging trees look saturated with green and water races down the curbs

my eyes fill up as the gutters do, and i wonder…

which came first?

Hello! This poem is beautiful. Albeit short, it captures the sweetness of the moment. At the same time, it implies of something deeper. The first few lines of the poem are incredibly descriptive and sequential. You left the window open and the blinds closed. Then you placed the candle upside down and then rest your chin by the window. The next few lines were more reflective, describing how the rain sprinkles your face and the serene scenery in front of you. What struck me were the last two lines. "my eyes fill up as the gutters do, and i wonder…which came first?" This makes the reader think that you are trying to hold back tears. And this poem does not give the reason why making them speculate why they're crying in the first place. The only hint you gave us was the question "which came first?" Overall, this is a wonderful poem and it had a creative ending. Great job!