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Young Writers Society



Blue Prints Chapter Two

by jDawn


Chapter Two

A few minutes later we met up with Tabatha. The little 11 year old had made her way to a gas station down the road. She was waiting outside for us when we arrived. We all proceeded inside the Speed-Way and found ourselves a map of The United States. We were currently in Kansas, Missouri. So we wound take a train to however far it goes, then we would play it by ear. We all walked outside to find muddy Declan who was forced by the cashier to stay outside. I brought him a wet, brown paper towel from the rest room to at least try to clean himself up a bit. He gratefully took the towel and rubbed it across his face and arms.

“Okay, so who wants food?” I asked. Anxious shouts from my crew ranged my ears. “Me!” Oh Me, I Do!!”

I smiled and nodded.

We all reached into our pockets in search of dollar bills or loose change. I pulled out a dollar and four cents and held it out in my hand. Parker pulled all his pockets inside out and shrugged. Tabatha pulled one dollar out of her pocket and placed it on my palm. Morgan pulled out 73 cents and added it to the small pile. Finally, Declan pulled a five dollar bill from his pocket, folded it neatly in half, and topped off the pile.

I quickly added up the pile and got seven dollars and seventy-seven cents. I went back inside fallowed by the rest of my crew. We grabbed a twelve inch sub with just about everything on it, a bag of Cheetos, and a red jumbo Gatorade to quench our thirst. We paid for the food and went back outside to the red tables. We all sat down around the one farthest from the family eating at the table to our far left.

“ So we need to call a taxi.” I said, stuffing sandwich and Cheetos in my mouth at the same time. I put the change on the table, twenty-five cents. Without a word Declan picked up the two dimes and the nickel and fed them into the pay phone right next to the family. He picked up the laminated, yellow, list of local numbers and skimmed through, looking for a taxi service. He found the number and punched in the keys, picking up the phone, and talking to the receptionist.

“ How are we going to pay for the taxi?” Parker asked, smirking at me. Yet another good question of Parker's. I cursed silently to myself.

Tabatha's chair squeaked backwards and she came over to whisper into my ear, “ I can rob this place, the dude won't even see me. I'll get it when he isn't looking! ” Her idea was completely insane but the more I thought about it, I wasn't completely sane myself. And I mean come on, we were created by some part of a secret service to save the world by tracking info from this lab we were born in and stopping whatever madness is out there from ending the world without to many people knowing, including the police and other officials.

“Okay.” I said. Still feeling unsure. But then again, it wasn't out of greed or anything. We were trying to save the world for crying out loud! That has to count for something.

Declan came back, “ Taxi here in five.” He said, stuffing sandwich in his mouth. I told Declan Tabatha's plan. The chunk of sandwich soared from his mouth and onto Parker's face. He shook his head and grabbed a napkin.

“ Are you insane?” Declan hissed at Tabatha.

“Yes.” She answered calmly, reaching for the Gatorade. In the next minute she was gone and back with wads of cash. The cab pulled up moments later just as the cashier stopped talking to the lady at the Subway at the other end of the room and realized that half the cash in the register was gone. He walked out of the doors, on his cell phone. We piled into the cab, Declan in the front with the very hairy driver and the rest of us squished in the back, Parker tightly holding onto the Cheetos and Declan had the Gatorade and the sandwich.

“ Train station!” Declan bellowed as the driver took off down the road. The next thing, we heard the police sirens on our tail. The driver started to pull over. Parker looked at the driver's name tag.

“ Hairy Larry don't slow down!” Parker yelled hysterically. Declan burst out into a giddy laugh.

“But-” Larry stuttered, but slammed on the gas when Tabatha leaned over and waved the wad of cash in his face. Parker screamed like an angry opera singer as we ran from the law.

We pulled into the train station in the dead of night. Tabatha gave the driver about a hundred bucks for speeding like that and hairy Larry peeled off with his well earned cash.

Declan pulled on the handle of the glass door but it didn't budge.

“ Crap.” Declan mumbled.

“ Closed from nine PM to four AM.” Parker said. He smiled at us. I stomped my foot on the ground. I could see the wheels turning in Declan's head so I waited for him to come up with the brilliant idea this time. But that didn't work.

“ So, Shay, Idea?” Declan asked me. I frowned and racked my brain for the answer.

“ Well we can't camp out here so how about in here, pick the lock?” I suggested weakly. Declan shrugged. I stuck my hand out to Morgan and she pulled the hairpin pulling back her black bangs, out of her hair. She placed the pin in my hands. I bent it easily to look slightly like the key might and unlocked the door like you would with your house. Declan opened the door and we walked in.

“ There was probably an alarm, it just didn't go off because it thought we had the real key.” Morgan said.

“ Well, duh.” Parker retorted.

“ Actually, it's der, Parker. Tabatha said.

“ Well, der.” Parker amended. I laughed. We kept walking across the room until we found the clock. It was one o'clock in the morning.

“ I'm going to go find the potty.” Parker said, walking off in the direction of the little sign hanging from the ceiling with the little men and women symbol on it.

“ I'm with Park on that one.” Declan said and fallowed him to the rest room. Tabatha shrugged and ran to catch up with them, and she did in about two seconds. Morgan and I walked over to the corner and unfolded the wrapping on the sub sandwich Parker had handed to me when he told us he had to go potty and Morgan took a sip of the red Gatorade and Cheetos that Declan had gave her. Only about a forth of the sandwich was left. I took a major bite of the sandwich and pulled the Gatorade out of Morgan's grip like a pig.

“ Hey!” She protested. Reaching out to receive the jumbo bottle of red punch Gatorade from me put I unscrewed the cap anyway.

“ Sorry.” I said, taking a sip of the Gatorade and handing it back to her.

“ No you're not.” She retorted.

“What? Of course I am!” I said. Wondering why she would think that but the more I thought about it, she could read minds and probably figure out that I wasn't completely sorry. I was about to give her a real apology when I figured she probably already knew that.

“ So what else can you do with that mind thing. I mean, have you like hacked into my secrets or whatever?” I asked, suddenly interested. All Morgan did was smile at me.

“Not a lot though, the other people's are more interesting. I mean, secrets and stuff.” Morgan said after swallowing the last of the sandwich.

“ Really...” I said, wondering if she would tell me about them.

“ Okay fine I'll tell you a few.” She said. She shoved a few Cheetos in her mouth and chewed on them viciously.

“In your dreams!” She finished. She chuckled and choked for a moment on a bunch of Cheetos.

“ Ugh!” I said in a playful, non harmful voice.

Declan and Parker strolled up behind us. Parker sat down by Morgan and the bag of Cheetos and Declan sat down by me. I n about three seconds Tabatha was sitting to my left.

“ Should we, like, rest or wait to do that on the train?” Morgan asked us.

“ If anybody is tired I guess they can take a nap, catch a few Zs if they want to.” I told everybody. Tabatha laid her head down on the floor to sleep as well as Morgan. Before I knew it, I was out cold a well.


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59 Reviews


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Mon Jul 26, 2010 12:11 am
jDawn says...



Oh, And thank you super much too, Chaos!




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59 Reviews


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Reviews: 59

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Mon Jul 26, 2010 12:10 am
jDawn says...



Thanks Rosey. It's currently just a draft so feel free to hit me hard. Yes, and they will encounter the police soon and they are also working for an exclusive government agency ( Kind of explained in chapter one )

Thanks,
Jessica




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Sun Jul 25, 2010 11:29 pm
Rosendorn wrote a review...



Hello.

I haven't read the parts before this, but I figured I'd give you my two cents on this bit.

First thing that caught my eye was the sentence structure. Each sentence follows the same pattern of "subject, verb, object." There's no variation in sentence structure at all, which makes this a bit boring to read. If you look at published novels, then you'll notice the way sentences change in length, in style, and in content. Some sentences are fragments, while others are really long. Start picking up on the way people use sentences in their writing, and apply it to what you have here.

As I kept reading, I noticed the situation seems a bit... implausible. They're kids, no money, and they can't exactly work their way across the country like hobos once did. Also, the amount they can get for seven bucks is pretty high when you consider the price of things nowadays, even if that's a town where everything seems to cost less. I might be underestimating what you can get in the States because I'm Canadian, but, still. It seems like a lot to get. I'm also wondering why nobody has called the police at a bunch of young kids walking around without supervision.

Hope this helps. PM me if you have any questions.

~Rosey




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Sat Jul 17, 2010 12:59 pm
MasterofChaos wrote a review...



Hello again! I noticed there were 20 unreviewed stories, (Holy smoke. o_o), so I decided to review yours first!

Again, I love your story, and I can't wait to read more, but the only complaint I have is that I would suggest that you spaced out your description/dialouge. It'll be easier to read.

That's all I have for now. Keep up the good work!





The words you speak become the house you live in.
— Hafiz