E - Everyone

LIGHTNING BEFORE THE THUNDER

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I wonder how thunder feels when lightning strikes

when people gasp and clap

and search the sky

i wonder if it aches, hurts, whines 

feels the desperate need to be seen 

i wonder if thats why it rumbles

to prove lightning wouldn't be known

without the shake of sound

drawing attention

the master behind the scenes

the one who's never seen

Comments & reviews · 5
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Hop here with a review. Please excuse my yapping and why this review is so long is mainly that. But let's get into the review ~~~~

This poem is soft and aching in a way that feels personal even though it’s written through the voice of thunder. You’re not just asking what thunder feels. You’re asking what it means to be the one behind the scenes. The one who supports the spectacle but never gets the spotlight. That idea is quietly powerful and you explore it with a tone that’s gentle and reflective.

The opening line sets the tone perfectly. “I wonder how thunder feels when lightning strikes” is such a simple question but it carries so much weight. It’s not just about weather. It’s about emotion. About presence. About being part of something but not being seen. That’s a feeling a lot of people know, and you’ve captured it in a way that feels honest and poetic.

The next few lines build on that feeling. People gasp and clap and search the sky. They react to lightning. They celebrate it. But thunder is just there. Following. Echoing. Supporting. That contrast is subtle but strong. You’re showing how attention works. How some things get noticed while others get ignored, even when they’re part of the same moment.

Then you ask if thunder aches. If it hurts. If it whines. That’s where the emotion really starts to come through. You’re giving thunder a voice. A body. A heart. You’re asking if it feels the need to be seen. That line is especially powerful. “Feels the desperate need to be seen” is not just about thunder. It’s about anyone who’s ever felt invisible. Anyone who’s ever wanted to be acknowledged.

The idea that thunder rumbles to prove lightning wouldn’t be known without it is such a strong shift. You’re flipping the narrative. You’re saying thunder matters. That it plays a role. That it deserves recognition. That’s a beautiful way to reframe things. It’s not loud. It’s not angry. It’s just true.

The final lines wrap it all up with quiet strength. Thunder is the master behind the scenes. The one who’s never seen. That ending is soft but it lingers. It leaves the reader thinking. It doesn’t demand attention. It just asks for understanding.

Your style is gentle and flowing. You use short lines that feel like thoughts drifting through the air. There’s no punctuation cluttering things up and that works well here. It lets the emotion move freely. It feels like someone thinking out loud. Someone wondering. Someone feeling.

This poem is short but it carries a lot. It’s thoughtful. It’s emotional. It’s quietly powerful. You’ve taken a simple idea and turned it into something that speaks to deeper truths. About recognition. About support. About longing. And you’ve done it with grace.

I’m still yapping because this piece deserves it. It’s the kind of poem that makes you pause and think. That makes you feel something soft and real. That stays with you.

Keep writing! Stay amazing! Happy Review Month!

Love,

Hop

User avatar
velvetcatsz
Review

Hello! It's CATS here to review this. It sounds so interesting...so WHY NOT??? Let's dive in!
Aww...the first line immediately caught my attention. You gave thunder and lightning human-like qualities, making the reader relate to the jealousy and envy. This is so creative.
Make sure to capitalize your i's. That is all because it is actually so good. ALSO WELCOME TO YWS!!! I just noticed lol.
This is like me. My friends are in the spotlight, I'm the shadow lurking behind, no one ever paying attention. This really touches me, makes me feel like someone else is experiencing this with me.
Thunder is soothing for me. The rain and the flashy storms...they lure me to sleep.
OVERALL: I loved this. Keep going with your short but detailed poems and I can't wait to review more!
Happy Reading, Happy RevMo, Happy Writing, and Happy Poetry!
Sincerely,
CATS

User avatar
lovelydove
Comment

I really really really like this poem! I feel like what you wrote about lightning wouldn't be known without thunder. All people ever think about is the lightening. And it corralates to the real world too. Good job

User avatar
AlexWrites
Review

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Hey there, ippoet! This is Alex, here to drop a review on this beautiful poem you wrote. I see you've only recently joined, so welcome to YWS! We're so very glad to have you here. If you need any help navigating the site, feel free to reach out to me on my wall, PMs (click on my profile and you'll find a 'send PM' option) or any tag me by making a post (just type @AlexWrites in a update you post on the people's tab) whatever way you feel most comfortable. I'm sure any other user would be more than happy to clarify any questions you have as well. I'm comparatively new here myself, so I completely understand how confusing YWS can seem at first. But you'll get a hang of it, I promise! Now without further delay, let's get the review started.

I'm in awe with this very original and interesting take you explored on the relationship between thunder and lightning, on your first poem here no less!
I've always been fascinated with personified elements of nature and their overseen plights, so this poem particularly called out to me. The capitalisation in the title was a great way to grab the reader's attention and invoke interest, it certainly worked! It's an amusing detail that it's written from your own perspective, imagining what the lightning must feel. Anyone else would've chosen to voice it from the lightning's own narrative to make things more impactful, but your unconventional choice really makes this piece stand out much more!

when people gasp and clap
feels the desperate need to be seen


I feel these lines laid down such a striking contrast. While one drowns in fame, the other craves recognition. Thunder is jealous that lightning gets to live its dream.

when people gasp and clap
and search the sky
i wonder if it aches, hurts, whines


It's so disheartening to witness that one can't be appreciated without hurting the other. In a way, I'm torn between both sides. While I empathize with the ignorance thunder feels, I also believe it is excessively jealous of popularity that lightning receives.

i wonder if thats why it rumbles
to prove lightning wouldn't be known
without the shake of sound


I can sense almost a villainous edge to thunder here. A little like how they're born from being overlooked while people are all over the hero. It gives him an undeniable motive for evil. I belive you've used thunder's ferocious image to portray its fury here, which was really clever thinking on your part. This seems to be the gist of the poetry, thunder raging when it gets unnoticed.

the master behind the scenes
the one who's never seen


I think these closing lines offered a softer shift. It really justifies the thunder's position. When you go unseen despite doing the bidding from the backstage, it must really be hurtful. I can't help but feel like it's an extended metaphor for unsung workers who get no glory for their tireless contribution. The popular owners, on the other hand, steal their 'thunder' and bask in a victory they didn't deserve.

Overall, you've executed a very unique idea in this poetry, rather well. To use the human perception of thunder and lightning and to bend it through your narrative was a great tactic. The personified jealousy was really compelling, and the injustice served to thunder was really worth wondering. A worthwhile read, it was my pleasure to review it for you. Hope to read more from you, very soon.

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Thank you so much for this amazing review! it means so much to have other peoples insite on my work. i've looked at some of your work and its really amazing.

You're too kind, thank you! <3

User avatar
lalalucky
Review

I just have to say that this has got to be one of the most creative takes on thunder & lightning and their relationship as a metaphor I've come across. It's so rare for both phenomenons together to be anything else other than a positive relation between them that is mutual, and their symbolism often relies on how mutual their relationship is. Yet instead, the symbolism heavily relies on how thunder is "behind" while lightning is seen, which is really creative and really makes sense for the topic.

This depiction of thunder & lightning also doesn't rely on the chaotic, generally negative associations with both phenomenons—the writing more-so gives a less negative-fueled approach to lightning and thunder; at best lightning is "glorious" but thunder is "mournful", giving an interesting contrast between these phenomenons we usually don't see other than how people sense them two (thunder is distinct by sound; lightning by sight).

The speaker's take on thunder & lightning comes off as way more softer than usual, which makes this poem all more interesting and unique. Their perspective is so refreshing, and isn't one I often even consider. This sympathetic tone also works well when address people who may feel as if they're "shadowed" or "left behind" others, even when these people may work hard for others.

While the writing does use imagery typically associate with chaos and anger and negativity (thunder) and compare them to these people, thunder isn't used to demonize the feelings of people who feel shadowed, especially considering thunder here isn't inherently demonized itself. In fact, I'd say this imagery uplift the feelings of these kind of people, as the text is willing to sympathize with and give weight to the negative feelings & grievances that comes with being "behind the scene"!

Love this take on thunder & lightning, I genuinely can't express how much this take is so interesting!! The word choices used are also so great. Keep writing!!!

wow thank you so much this means a lot , i appreitate your take so much



Prometheus, thief of light, giver of light, bound by the gods, must have been a book.
— Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves