Found but Gone

by icaruswithoutwings

Published September 21, 2025

E - Everyone

In Trial One

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Down by the waterfall, a pair sat. This was a sight to see, the sight of a lifetime, something out of a dream. The sun was low and there was a slight breeze, blowing droplets of water falling in the direction of the howling air. The water reflected pink, and it would soon reflect black from the impending night sky. It was cool, but not uncomfortably cold. The sound the river played from the descending water crashing down was loud; loud enough to block out intricate thoughts of a mind, but not so loud to hurt your ears. The smell of the freshwater is something indescribable, but recognizable, and brought a sense of comfort to those who could recognize it. The rocks, smoothed and rounded from being pushed around since the day they came into existence, were lined up along either side of the river. One could question if it was the work of mankind, but the human race can come nowhere close to the complexity of nature- the one responsible for everything beautiful in this world.

The pair blended in almost entirely with the scene around them. They didn’t seem out of place, even though they were mere humans in the presence of this otherworldly display. They were the last pieces to this composition, the remaining touches. The noisy waterfall was close, but silence consumed them. Nothing needed to be said because there was an unspoken agreement to remain still. This was perfect, sat in the place they first met, they first exchanged words, and what felt like exchanged souls. The waterfall had always been beautiful, but the day it became extraordinary was the day they became part of it. The routine of coming here was repetitive for the couple, but it had been an honor to repeat this dream as much as they liked.

But right then something shifted. Nothing exactly drastic, but enough to notice. The air had been cool, but the wind blew enough to make someone shiver. The melody of the river became just a note too high, and made one uneasy. The reflection of the water suddenly appeared clear. Confused, one of them looked up at the sky, questioning why its design wouldn’t reach the river. It occurred to him that night had finally fallen; but it didn’t have the intended effect. The waterfall scene had become ordinary. The blandness came as a shock. The moment replayed in his head. The day he saw her for the first time, she had the effect of a light bulb. Everything in the vicinity had been lit up, and it stayed that way since they became one, a pair. The waterfall scene fell into place, along with his life and place in the world. Suddenly, the confused one came to an abrupt realization.

He turned his head towards what should’ve been his other half. Instead he found emptiness, just as bland as the new strange scenery. The sound of the crashing waters could no longer block out his thoughts. He looked back at the water then remembered, she is now one with the currents.

Comments & reviews · 2
CorruptedData167 wrote a review Review · Sep 22, 2025

This is really good, but I’m a little bit confused with what exactly happened to the girl. Did she fall in the water and drown?

The imagery was really nice to imagine. I thought of the Blackwater Falls in Spruce Knob and that place is absolutely gorgeous.

I feel like this could be a really good short film, or a full length film with more in the beginning, middle and end.

Overall this is incredibly good and it has a ton of potential. Good job!

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Messenger
Review
Messenger wrote a review Review · Sep 22, 2025

Hi Icarus! This is my first time seeing your work. Happy Review Month and go all Team Tortoises.

Down by the waterfall, a pair sat. This was a sight to see, the sight of a lifetime, something out of a dream.

It is unclear if you are referring to what is a sight to behold, the waterfall or the couple sitting? Presumably the couple, but the you proceed to describe everything but the couple.
The sun was low and there was a slight breeze, blowing droplets of water falling in the direction of the howling air.

A simple change that could make your writing much stronger is switching "was low" and "there was a slight breeze". Simply saying "the sun hung low" and "a slight breeze blew droplets of water in", feels much less telling and more active.
The water reflected pink, and it would soon reflect black from the impending night sky. It was cool, but not uncomfortably cold.

You use this style a few times in the first paragraph where you nearly repeat, this time with "cold but not uncomfortably cold". It works fine on it's own, but if it becomes noticeable like it has here, it might be a good idea to cut back ln it.

were the last pieces to this composition, the remaining touches

The beginning and ending phrases feel redundant

Overall it's got some nice imagery and description. I would have liked more to the conclusion. Did she die? Did they break up? Was she ever real?

~Messy

Hi thank you for your review! This work was just to practice describing things really, but I appreciate all your comments and will take all of them into consideration! Thank You!



Don't sit down and write because you're a writer; sit down and write because you have something to say. And if the sea of ideas isn't flowing, well, just tell me about your day.
— OrabellaAvenue