When Words Fail

Hey.

Good try.

"If you did than you would understand what I'm trying to tell you." I think it should be "then" not "than" here,

"When words fail how you know what I feel?" It should be "When words fail, how would you know what I'd feel?"

Repetition didn't work here. It was a short poem and most of the times, repetition doesn't suit short poems. So work on that. But this thing is quite true, being a girl I understand lol.

So there you go, just scrap off and redo.

Keep writing and stay blessed.

xoxo

hi hmcg.I like your poem.the total poem is very beautiful. every line has a reality. i like this lines

"when words fail,i resort to music.
when words fail, will ii fail too?
when words fail how you know what i feel?"

i also like the starting and the name of the poem.
the poem contains beautiful meaning.every line is beautiful and nicethe thought of the poem and thought of yours is very nice. i am not good in writing reviews. but i tried.i really like your poem very much.
so keep writing like this....

hi hmcg.I like your poem.the total poem is very beautiful. every line has a reality. i like this lines

"when words fail,i resort to music.
when words fail, will ii fail too?
when words fail how you know what i feel?"

i also like the starting and the name of the poem.
the poem contains beautiful meaning. every line is beautiful and nice. the thought of the poem and though of yours is very nice. i am not good in writing review.but i tried. i really like your poem very much.
so keep writing poems like this.....

Hello! Was your poem a spin off of the classic quote that says, "When words fail, music speaks?" That's what I was constantly alluded to. My favorite part of your poem is the line that says,

"All those times when I wouldn't turn off the music, I was trying to talk to you."

I thought that it was quite pretty and powerful. Almost an oxymoron. People, especially teenagers, tend to be looked down upon when they plug into their music and don't engage in conversation. I've never thought of that being a way that you would try to communicate with somebody about your feelings.

There was one line that seemed like it needed a little work.

"When words fail how you know what I feel?"

To go along with the set up of the two lines before it, maybe it would sound better if you wrote something like, "When words fail, the music speaks what I feel." Or maybe, "When words fail, music is my voice." It's whatever you prefer though.

Another thing that I wanted to suggest, is maybe you could allude to what the feeling are that for which music does the speaking. If it's sadness, heartbreak, loss, or some other kind of pain, I think it would help to throw that somewhere in your poem. The narrator herself can't speak to others of her feelings, but maybe you could say something along the lines of, "You ask why for tear rolling down my cheek, not listening to the lyrics I play." Maybe not that. But I definitely think you could throw something in there about the narrator's actual feelings so readers can get a better grip on their situation and sympathize.

All in all, great job! Keep writing.