Sun-warmed concrete benches
next to tables with built-in checkerboards
and the graffiti left by hundreds
before us in
Day-Glo spray paint:
Joanne Loves Richie
Punx Rule
Nuke Fags and Lesbos
And
Amber Is A Slut.
The dead leaves and plastic bags scatter
in the breeze from the park
and men in business suits try to keep the
last few remaining strands of hair covering
their pink bald spots.
Cigarette packets and used-up chewing gum
coat the grey sidewalk.
And I think
What does it matter
that it is not a linear equation if any variable is raised to a power?
We're all just going to die anyway.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,014 Literary Works • 672,845 Reviews
Hi!
Amazing poem!! It's so true - I think about this problem all the time, like what is the point in anything - and this poem got the point across so well - you did an amazing job. I love how for like 2/3 of the poem the reader has no idea what's going to happen - it's just the view from a classroom window. But then you go back to the actual maths lesson and you end it so powerfully - it was great.
I loved your perception of the things outside - the graffiti, the men covering their "bald spots" etc... and basically how bleak and pointless everything is. Not sure if this was intentional but I like how you included the graffiti, because I guess people do it because "they want to leave a mark" or something and their point in life I guess is to be remembered but what is the point in being remembered? Anyway, this was a great poem.
Keep writing!
tick tock
Thank you so much!
I loved this tbh. I enjoyed how you used vivid imagery so that I can picture your surroundings. & I see the deep meaning of this poem. It's very relatable to me because I HATE math. I understand that you are sitting and class and wondering
"What's the point of this?"
"When will I use this?"
Why does this matter?"
These all questions that I ask myself a lot nowadays
There is so much pressure on us students to get good grades, get into college and be "successful" aka miserable. It's also messed up how people care more about your grades than your wellbeing nowadays. I loved your point when you said "we're all going to die anyway." Which is so true. Basically all this stress and pressure will be all for nothing..
It blew my mind!
Keep up the good work!!!!
Thanks you so much!
That is pretty deep, at the end there. What a creative idea! (ps I am totally going to try this!) You used very commonly-used descriptive words. They way you seperated the lines didn't quite work for me. I think you could've done better with easier, flowy spacing. Your perspective is something I would like to see more of. Please write more of these. Thank you for writing!
Waffle~
Thank you so much!