Tomorrow hired a mapmaker to chart itself,
but every road she inked had vanished by the time she lifted the pen.
She drew a river, and it dried into a rumor.
She drew a mountain, and it forgot to be tall.
So she stopped drawing places and drew intentions instead:
a small arrow for each person who almost turned back,
a spiral for every hand that hovered over a door,
a blank patch where someone was still deciding.
The finished map was mostly weather and hesitation.
Travelers unrolled it and found their own footprints
already walking ahead of them, a little faint,
like someone who had come this way in a dream and left a light on.
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Canary word: Present
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Maybe the future was never meant to be mapped. Maybe all we can really leave behind are the choices we almost made, and the footprints we haven’t reached yet.
~hira♡
This is really beautiful, yet so fascinatingly metaphorical. And I just love it.
It is true that, perhaps the future was never really meant to be mapped out. Sometimes, you will just have to go with the flow of life - you will not know what tomorrow will have in store for you. It could be anything, really.
Therefore, I admire your way of telling - a river became a rumor because it hasn’t yet flown or ebbed out, with the lively, and swirling, dance of one. Then she drew a mountain, but it forgot to be tall because it has not lived just yet to grow the length, and hasn’t understood what it means to be a mountain in the land of tomorrow. This is because none of it has happened, but will in the future.
Overall, really beautiful poem, and I hope I saw through the metaphors correctly and somewhere touched the underlying message
I envy poets who can come up with such otherworldly ideas and write their hearts out, something I think was accomplished in this short yet powerful poem!
This was such an interesting way to describe the future. I really liked the idea of Tomorrow hiring a mapmaker, because it makes something impossible to predict feel almost like a real place. The part about drawing intentions instead of places was my favorite, especially the blank patch for someone who was still deciding. The ending was beautiful too, with the footprints already walking ahead. It left me thinking about how uncertain the future really is.
Hello hira! A review for a review
It was the title of your poem that drew me in initially, and it already has such a unique question about it. The poem itself certainly lived up to the title and I just absolutely adore the premise - it is simultaneously beautiful, fantastical, and philosophical, all wrapped up into three well-structured and obviously thoughtful stanzas.
I love that Tomorrow is personified here, and a little part of me wished we had more insight into this personification of Tomorrow, although that could be selfish of me as a reader since the focus really is on the hired cartographer. I think there is something masterful about the images you design in the first stanza, particularly with the vanishing ink. At the same time, I feel like the theme of the poem, while focused on the future, also in many ways invokes the present and the past, which just makes it all the more contemplative in my opinion.
A few notes:
I don't think you need to italicize "intentions" - the emphasis already lies in the concision and clarity with which you write.
The two preceding lines provide some nice visuals, but I don't really know what a "blank patch" would look like, so I don't know if this is the best visual representation in this case.
This is beautiful!
I honestly just adored this poem and almost half-wish you would write an accompanying short story. The premise is so lovely and I just want more. Really well done.
Keep writing,
Lav
Thank you so much, Lav! ♡ I’m really glad you liked the personification of Tomorrow! And your comment about the short story genuinely made me smile xD Thank you for such a lovely review! ♡
~hira<3