Enter through a west wing, where dust settles like it's been waiting for you specifically. The portraits don't blink. The rope barriers are suggestions you no longer need. Open the first door. A girl sits by a window, laughing at something you don't remember being funny. The plaque reads: Age nine. Still fearless. Open the second. She's older here, tired in a way that photographs don't usually catch the tiredness behind the eyes, not on the face. she doesn't look up when you enter. The third room holds someone happier than you've ever been. You don't recognize the joke she's laughing at. You don't recognize the room she's standing in. You wonder, briefly, if she recognizes you. The fourth door won't open at first. When it does, no one is inside just chair angled toward the window, still warm, like someone just left. You keep walking. The room grow quieter. Somewhere behind you, a woman who doesn't recognize your face is signing a guestbook with your name. The last room is empty. Not abandoned unfinished. No plaque. No visitor rope. Just white walls, waiting for a version of you that hasn't arrived yet. You stand in the doorway a long time. Then you understand: this room isn't empty because nothing happened here. It's empty because you're still becoming whoever gets to stand inside it.
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Hi Hira, you seem new so I wanted to welcome you along with giving my thoughts on this intriguing poem.
That was straight dragon FIRE
This quote really stuck out to me. Hard to articulate why though...
The girl laughing at something not funny makes me think of bullying but this is contrasted by the end of the paragraph where the one depicted is still fearless.
I also love the contrast between the second and third rooms. The question if she recognizes you is almost haunting to me. Are you now so different? So far removed from the happiness you once knew?
For most of these rooms I understood what you were going for, but the woman signing her guestbook was not so clear. Not a bad thing. It got me thinking which is good. I wonder what you were going for there...
Both the room where you recently were and those that have yet to be leave me feeling warm and hopeful. It's hard to pin down why, but I think poems are more about the feeling anyway.
Some loose scales
I think you meant 'grows' here
Other than that, everything was beautiful and smooth to read.
As mighty wing soar overall
I loved the progression from room to room and how you described each one. They reveal a lot about what events and feelings are most important. It can be easy to compartmentalize sections of our lives and assign titles like good and bad to them. But I like how you looked deeper than that.
Final wisdom of the dragon friend
Looking back and forward gives us much to be grateful for, if we choose to focus on it.
May blazing dragon-fire light your path and ignite the flames of your inspiration.