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Love Is Another Lie

by gv7233


Love is another lie that every fool man would say and give to every graceful woman.

It is as if love is just a playful words for them--

--that they only see love, but not feel it.

It is as if love is just about lust and attraction of beauty.

But what they don't know and must always know--

--that love is always a wonderful thing.

Love is a beautiful thing that should not be treated as a lie. 


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14 Reviews


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Sun May 27, 2018 10:27 am
vagrant wrote a review...



Hi, that was a really nice one. I doted how it is so short but contains such a deep denotement. This poem of yours describes a person who does not consider love as beautiful and adventurous but just another time pass in his life. Love is something that just transpires. It is a feeling, a really nice one indeed.

The poem prospers in elucidating what it is about and expresses all the emotions correctly.The word selection and usage was good as well.

Moreover, the structure of the poem is immaculate and wondrous.

This was my favorite part -
"Love is another lie that every fool man would say and give to every graceful woman.

It is as if love is just a playful words for them--

--that they only see love, but not feel it."

Suggestions - Albeit the poem as a whole looked quite consummate in itself, I would have liked if you added some more lines on how these type of people feel about love.

"It is as if love is just a playful [word] for them"

Overall, it was a pretty good read and definitely relished reading it.
Great work!




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Tue May 22, 2018 11:07 am
Sree wrote a review...



This an impressive work,the way you started and ended it had correlation,I was about to think it had deviated elsewhere then came the line.It started as if complaining and ended as an order,"NEVER TREAT LOVE AS A LIE"
The reader totally gets this, it speaks about respecting women through the enlightenment of the meaning of love.
I totally was into this poem.Great work,looking forward for more to come.




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Thu May 17, 2018 11:37 am
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qalbdaye3 says...



the words "i love you" have indeed lost value because of the wrong usage. people now throw it around not realizing, caring, or even thinking about what is actually means. and how it affects certain people. very well captured thought <3




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Thu May 17, 2018 11:29 am
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Radrook wrote a review...



Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.

That having been said:

Thank you for describing a certain type of person who sees others as mere objects to be played with. Of course, the lie is used in order to make the trustful victim cooperate. People like to feel admired, envied, loved desired. People who manipulate others use this to their advantage.

I agree that sincere feelings of love are a wonderful thing. Unfortunately, the person putting on a mask in order to get what he or she wants doesn't care. This includes both men and women. Some women are what they call gold-diggers. They will say or do anything just to get on the right side of a rich man-even declare eternal unqualified love for him if deemed necessary.

So it isn't just something that's totally gender specific.


Suggestion

The first line looks too long and gives the composition an unbalanced appearance.

The introduction seems as if it is a continuation of other statements that preceded it. Made me stop for a moment and wonder what those other lies are.

The poem expresses a truth very nicely. But it also seems biased against men in general.

....fool man vs graceful woman....
I would try to fix that in order not to convey the impression of being prejudiced.

All in all a very interesting read. Looking forward to reading more of your work.




gv7233 says...


Thanks. This is my old work from years ago. I'll post my new ideas once I finished them. Thanks again for the recommendations.



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Thu May 17, 2018 11:22 am
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ABC123 wrote a review...



Hi gv7233, here to review your poem.

Firstly, I have to say that I really like it, I think it's very relevant to the society that we live in, but not just today's society, but society since the Middle Ages really.

Now onto the review - please bear in mind that these are just suggestions!

First of all, I'm not sure about this line:

"It is as if love is just about lust and attraction of beauty."

I don't think that the ending of this line, "attraction of beauty" makes a great deal of sense, I think you might want to re-visit that, and maybe expand on that idea? Possibly you could give examples, you could talk about society and what might take away from the magic of real love between people, such as being able to edit photos, or some people's confidence being overly-dependent on how many likes they get for a photo that they post online etc.

Also, in the two penultimate lines:

"But what they don't know and must always know--

--that love is always a wonderful thing."

I was thinking that the repetition of the word "always" takes away some of the beauty of what you're saying, so maybe find another word?

That's all I have to say, I hope you keep writing because this poem is very good :)

ABC123





Be steadfast as a tower that doth not bend its stately summit to the tempest’s shock.
— Dante Alighieri